I've be wondering if giving our kids a better than what I had life is all it is cracked up to be. Up until I was in the 4-5th grade we grew up fairly poor. My mom used the pretty colored money(food stamps) to buy food. I wore quite a bit of hand me downs, which would be ok if any of my relatives were girls. I remember people asking me if I like dressing like a boy. I did have some girl items, and I was pretty much a tomboy, so it didn't really bother me at the time. I remember being scared to tell my parents that I broke my glasses, because they cost so much, that I pretended that I could see without them. Like they bought that. I remember Christmas being a big deal because that is when we looked through the "wish book" and got to pick out what we hoped to get for Christmas. My brother and I never really grew up without, if we needed it, we got it, but we also understood at a fairly young age that we had to earn money. We had a list of chores that had to be done around the house. By high school, if we weren't involved in a sport we were expected to have a job. We were expected to get good grades and we had to be responsible for ourselves. We didn't get rides to or from practices unless we couldn't find one and walking home wasn't an option, ie below zero temperatures. Even in 4th grade I rode my bike over a mile to the little leauge field. We didn't get taken to the pool, #1 because we didn't have one and #2 the lake is free. Birthday parties were held at McD's or we ordered pizza. We didn't have a tv in our rooms, if I wanted to watch 90210, I had to ask or set up the vcr to record it. I don't think there was anything wrong with any of it. I actually feel guilty sometimes when I'm at work, not really working. I feel like I should be doing something. My husband grew up pretty much the same, except he had to work on a farm as a kid.
Now we have this feeling that we have to give our kids a better life than what we had. I will admit it, I don't like to give my daughter hand me downs or clothing items from a yard sale. I have no problem buying all the stuff on clearance, but it just knowing I bought it new for her some how makes me feel good. Maybe the feelings of being teased are surfacing now. My husband sees almost no limit in getting stuff for his son who is 11. He gets a new bat for baseball every year, I never owned a bat until he bought me one. He makes sure he has fairly expensive shoes for all his sports. His son always got a ride for everything up until last year when it was decided it would be ok for him to walk 2 blocks. If he forgets something we run for it. He has a tv and a ps3 in his room so he never has to converse with the rest of the family if he chooses. The girl has one in her room too, but it doesn't work, and she doesn't really play up there anyway. He got a cell phone for Christmas, I didn't have a phone in my room until high school, and it wasn't a separate line. For his birthday we are taking him and 4 of his friends to a condo that has a water park for the night. Last year they went to the Big Ten Basketball Tournament in Chicago. He has been to at least 3 Packer games, and numerous Brewer games, and thinks nothing of asking for anything and everything while we're there. He gets upset when you ask him to do anything and stares are you like he's in shock that you want him to do something, like clean his room. I shoveled a pretty large driveway and parking area when I was growing up, usually more than once in a day if it was snowing that hard. He thinks shoveling an inch of snow of the sidewalk is a major feat. I'm kind of going off about him because the girl is only 16 mos and I want to prevent this from happening to her. I remember taking him to the store when J and I first got together and he was 3-4 and expected to get a treat for being good in the store. I understand that we want them to have more than what we had, but are we giving it at a bigger price than just what the tag says? Why do I get "the look" when I say things need to be earned and if going without, because it was forgotten, starts teaching some responsibility than so be it? Am I really an evil stepmother? Why is this generation called the playstation generation? Why are all these adults still living at home? Is this giving them a better than what we had life?