Sunday, February 19, 2012

A Post, Yes A Post

I am starting to beat back the winter blues and feeling the need to either post or get rid of the blog, so here I am. 
It has been a tough month since I last posted. A good friend of mine died of heart disease at 34, yes, 34. It is crazy. It was especially painful since he is a mutual friend of the ex and I and I felt pushed out. I was made to feel, my feelings didn't count. I was slammed during the week of the funeral about who I could and couldn't talk to, and who had my best interests. I'm pretty sure it wasn't my ex by the way he was acting. After sitting for 3 hours of a celebration of life, I followed up the ride home by giving myself alcohol poisoning and ending the weekend by having the ex berate me by text on my intentions of getting into it with his skank at a funeral( of which I had none) which was followed up by him telling me we were only going to talk about PB and I should get my own cell plan.  

This plan of his is actually going good for me. I was actually planning on getting my own cell plan when my tax refund came in and trying to stay actual friends with him was incredibly stressful. I know he is hiding some big secret from me and I don't care. If and when the bomb drops so be it, but I no longer care who I talk to and what he thinks about it. I like just saying, "I have nothing for you." when one of us is done talking to PB. I can almost laugh when I see the skank at work because she is thinks she is making me miserable and frankly I've let go. No, I will never have a conversation with her until I get an apology, but I feel I am better off now.

Anyhoo, I am straddling the fence on whether or not to explore internet dating. Frankly the pool I am in is less than stellar and I am not in my twenties living at the bar anymore. Yet, I don't know if the internet is the way to go either and of course I tossed the magazine that has some different options than match and eharm. 

PB seems to be doing well in school. It is great fun for me seeing her learning to read. She does make up a lot of words, but I still love it. We have conferences this month so we'll find out more. I put her in skating since she said she wanted to play hockey and then she saw the girls in skirts and wants to figure skate. For now she  just walks, falls, and gets back up. I will probably try it again when they offer it.

I've been trying to get her back in swim, but parks and rec fills in a nanosecond, so I'm hoping to get her in the end of March. After which T-ball will start. 

I'm looking at buying a house. I met with an agent at an open house at this little house that I've had my eye on. He sounded pretty promising until he said I have to get the loan for the ex's hunting land off my credit to qualify for a loan. I have been trying to get off the house and land titles since the divorce. I only have my name on the land loan which is better than both that and the house mortgage. I don't know why he is dragging his feet on this and now with our friend dying the land might be tied up longer. He did say he'd work on in this week. I so hope he does, since buying would save me almost $200 a month. The house I'm eyeing up is pretty small, but really might be a tad bigger than what I'm in now and it would be mine. It is in total old lady mode, but looking past the stuff it has potential.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Don't You Forget About Me

Since my life has become consumed with Pintrest and stalking  chatting on Facebook, I have let this blog get a little dusty. Truth be told the winter blues have settled in and I need to purge a bit. 

Yes, I sometimes get the winter blues and this year is no exception. Strangely they started when we were having the best weather in January ever. I mean, I ran outside in a t-shirt and capris and still got a sweat on. But, the short days, combined with missing Peanut Butter on days I don't have her and seemingly messing up the only flash of interest another person had in me since getting divorced, I have been feeling like curling up in bed and just sleeping, but I have been hauling my butt to work fighting off tears as I try to get through this. Last night I had a little mental break down and surprisingly am starting to feel better and I got my PB back today and have my days off coming Tuesday, Wednesday. So things seem to be getting a little brighter and hopefully the blues are on their way out.

Today when after PB got dropped off, she showed me what appeared to be a face make up brush. I asked what she had and she said a brush, she and brushed her face. I was like great. Now the person for whom this saying 

rings true for me, has worn off on my PB and she things she has to wear a ton of make up to be pretty. My biggest fear is for PB to grow up and think she has to be "pretty" to get things. But I say to myself it is just a brush and shrug it off until I see all this powder flying off of it and say, "WTF?" I ask to see the brush and it is body shimmer powder from Victoria Secrets. I about lost it, who buys that for a 5 year old? Well, the same person who took her there shopping today. Apparently they were on a little spree in Victoria's, spraying perfume and all kinds of fun stuff. Am I crazy or is spending time with a 5 year old in Victoria Secrets inappropriate? I get running in to grab an item or two. But I would never think to buy my kid something there.

Ah, such is my life.