Friday, January 28, 2011

Social Butterfly

My friends, if there are any out there, I am a home body. J is out at a bowling tournament for work and was begging me to go, but I just don't want to hang out with drunk people from work. Yes, I was one of those drunk people from work back in the day, but I cannot do it anymore. I would rather sit here on the computer or finishing up season 3 of Supernatural up in my scrapbook room making cards from Operation Write Home. J is a social butterfly as well as Peanut Butter. I on the other hand struggle with small talk and would rather stick hot pokers in my eyes sometimes. Once I get to know someone it is all well and good, I can find a common ground to talk, but the whole initial conversation thing kills me, which is probably why I was that drunk coworker, just be able to talk. J gets upset when I don't want to do the bar scene anymore, and has told me people think I'm antisocial, well, that may be, and honestly when I want me time away from being a mom, I would rather spend it by myself in silence sometimes. I don't want to have to drink a six pack to be able to talk. I do wish there were other social outlets for me to get over my insecurities, but I guess one would need to make friends to be able to do that, which requires that dreaded small talk. I don't know, I guess I'll just be the quiet antisocial one. 

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I've Gone Cuckoo

As I am "focusing" on my running and getting to the point I would no longer be considered to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser, I get talked in to craziness. A friend of mine at work, with whom I discuss working out and such, said, "Hey would you be interested in doing this obstacle course run with me and another co-worker?"  I said, yeah why not. Um yeah, I haven't signed up yet, and the time slot that they are running in is full so I'd be on my own doing the Warrior Dash. If this wasn't enough, they want to do the Madison Mud Run, which is 5 miles of hell in May. I have yet to run 5 miles, let alone through an obstacle course, but I for see it happening before May, since I am going to have to do this bad boy. I did do 4.68 miles Monday, but I probably walked about half a mile of that cooling down. But I did it in 55 min so, I should be able to get in before the 2.5 hour cut off. The only thing is, the other two want to run together and help each other through, but I have this feeling that once the thing starts, my competitiveness may take over and I'll want to go, go, go. 

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Word Up

Over at Mom's Sippy Cup the idea of summing up what you want 2011 to be or what you want to focus on in one word. I have thought long and hard over this and mulled over quite a few words none quite working. I then decided on "focus." I need to focus on what is important to me. I need to focus on cleaning things up in my life. I need to focus on getting better with money, I need to focus on long term vs. short term. Yes, this is a cute shirt for PB, but that $10 should be put to better use or saved for the list of big items I want but have nickeled and dimed them out of my hands like a Wii or a trip to Disney for PB. I need to focus on less is more for a bit. Though folks I am going on a trip with my Mom, that is happening no ifs, ands, or buts. Hopefully my tax return will cover that.

I need to focus on keeping up with trying to "eat less, move more" as Cathy Z is continuing this year. I am going to try like her to document it and keep myself focus on the end game. I also want to focus on improving my running. I had a rough holiday season since I got sick right after Christmas and hadn't run in over a week, but I got on the treadmill and did three miles. Yes, I had to stop to blow my nose a couple times, but I ran much better than I had expected and may actually be getting used to the torture device called the treadmill. I am focused on getting back out on the streets weather permitting and I am hoping to focus on a 10k this year or do part of a marathon relay in my hometown. I also need to focus on not snacking the entire time I sit in what I have dubbed my crack den, my scrapbook room, where I stash good chocolate and m&ms and then hide away as I devour the stuff as I attempt to get something done.

I need to focus on me. I need to let go sometimes. I get so frustrated and pissed off very quickly sometimes and just blow up. I need to focus and take a breath and move forward instead of flying off the handle, but this is easier said than done. I need to focus on whether or not I should take some classes. I would really like to have a different job, however, after doing what I do for 15 years it doesn't build any real skills. I have been flopping back and forth what I should do and with a new governor in charge who wants to break our union and cut wages, well, I'm thinking I might have to do something.

I need to focus on my marriage. We had a pretty tough twenty-ten. I really want to work to get back what we started. We need to focus on some us time. We need to find something we enjoy together to do.

I need to focus on PB and make sure I'm raising a healthy, smart, good, confident girl.

I'm sure there are more things I need to focus on, but that is what I'm working on right now.