Thursday, September 25, 2008

Thoughts for Thursday: Bipolar Parenting

I'm beginning to think I am a bipolar parent. I am a decent mother on my days off. I have patience, a desire to get out there and do things together, and I let loose a bit from being on a schedule. On the days I work and especially the evenings that J is not home, I am a bear. I feel a pressure to get things done, yet not want to do them. I have little to no patience. I feel it is a tug of war over time. I have been noticing Miss Peant Butter's and my dynamic changes over these days. My days off she is fairly happy go lucky, wants me, but isn't needy and is generally pretty well behaved. On the days I work, she is needy, naughty, and full of tantrums. It tests my very being, which is where I lose all patience. It is as if we feed off of each other's misery. I guess noticing it is the first step in finding a way to work out something different. I have even been kicking around going to third shift, but I think my marriage would suffer then. I get that there are pros and cons of being a working mom, but I would hope turning into a toxic mom most of the week isn't one of them. Even SAH moms have to have a give and take I would think. How do you find a balance?


Leslie Collins said...

Once again, adorable pic.

If you ever find that balance, let me know please. It's so normal. Try not to stress over stuff that doesn't have to be done. I am telling you that, but someone needs to tell me. It's hard being a mom. I don't think that guys will ever truly understand how we feel. You know?

Kathryn said...

I think everyone is a bipolar parent.

I go along thinking I'm doing pretty good as a mom and then BAM. Bad mommy is back. And I am all impatient and grouchy and mean. I hate bad mommy. I wish I could always be good mommy.

Michelle Leigh said...

I wish I could tell you I find a balance but most days I don't. I try to find the patience but there is a lot of patience required with these kids and many days it's hard.

I think you just need to think of each day as a new day because if you dwell on how good or bad yesterday was, you are setting yourself up for failure! You are doing great so don't worry about the rough patches!

Anonymous said...

I don't know that there is such a think as a true balance . . . life is teetering and anything can offset it one way or the other. But I think it is very positive that you recognize your behavior. That alone is a huge step towards changing it.

Love the photo of you two, too cute!

Tranny Head said...

When you find out the answer to this make sure you write a book - you'll make millions! Good luck! :-)

Also - I HATE when they feed off parental unhappiness and add to it with their own!!!!

Amy said...

Don't be so hard on yourself! That's a great picture - you look really nice!

Anonymous said...

I have had bad mommy days as a working mom and as a stay at home mom. The stresses are still there, they are just different.

The right balance? Please be sure to let us know if you find it!

Dana said...

I know I'm the same way, and its tough for us bec J is with her dad on the weekends and I work and go to school all week. I had a bad mommy moment last week. I'm thinking about finding another job... part time, so I can be home a little more and maybe be a little happier. I know my relationship with both J & K are suffering, but at the same time I need to work to support us, and finish up school to get a better paying job.

Looks like you're doing a great job. I just think that bipolar parenting is part of everyone's life now with so many parents working and not so many staying home.