Waking a child at 5 am will cause said child to have bi-polar disorder from the time you pick her up from daycare at 2 pm until the very early bedtime. Do not try and grocery shop with this child even if you have to order her a birthday cake beacause you have no skills like Jessica. I do, however, have a soon to be two year old with an obsession with Dora, so Dora it is. Realize that once you walk away from the extremely bright cake book featuring Dora child will scream and pitch a fit. She will also go to trantrumville when you take away the lunch meat she is trying to eat through the package. You will leave store without anything for dinner because you cannot take it anymore.
After returning home from disastrous adventure at the grocery store, do not nod off while watching Toy Story 2, even though you are still lacking sleep from 2 nights ago. Should you nod off, the child on your lap will try and pull off the scab on your leg. It will definitely wake you up.
Do not assume your child is done eating even though she has thrown her milk cup and demanded the tray be taken off her chair. Do not try to push child back to table when you realize she isn't done. She will then proceed to scream and cry for 5 min.
Do not let the lovey dovey swings fool you she will soon turn and make your life miserable. You will think the worst is over as you are fawned over with kisses, but she is just resting her pipes for another scream fest.
Your wonderful husband for whom this is all possible because he had to be at work at 6 am also will only endure about an hour of this and think he has been tortured.
It will not be all bad, she will take a bath like a champ, sit and be read books, and be so exhausted that she falls right asleep.
After returning home from disastrous adventure at the grocery store, do not nod off while watching Toy Story 2, even though you are still lacking sleep from 2 nights ago. Should you nod off, the child on your lap will try and pull off the scab on your leg. It will definitely wake you up.
Do not assume your child is done eating even though she has thrown her milk cup and demanded the tray be taken off her chair. Do not try to push child back to table when you realize she isn't done. She will then proceed to scream and cry for 5 min.
Do not let the lovey dovey swings fool you she will soon turn and make your life miserable. You will think the worst is over as you are fawned over with kisses, but she is just resting her pipes for another scream fest.
Your wonderful husband for whom this is all possible because he had to be at work at 6 am also will only endure about an hour of this and think he has been tortured.
It will not be all bad, she will take a bath like a champ, sit and be read books, and be so exhausted that she falls right asleep.
6 comments:
it's not really skill. i'm good at covering mistakes and ad-libbing the cake decorating thing :D sounds like your PB is keeping you on your toes. and husbands have such a low tolerance. wimps!
men are such wimps! :)
Sounds like a great night. Men hey!
Again, I can't wait!!
oh - too too early!!
Oh, you poor thing! Sounds like my week. PB seriously sounds like my Bianca. And yes, men suck. I was just telling my mom that I need 5 of me and she was wondering where Brian was in all of this. I told her he's good for making money, mowing the lawn and the occasional bed time story. For real, he's a great dad, just not enough time in the day!
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