Monday, August 15, 2011

Only in Gooberville -long and possibly crazy

There are certain things that really only happen in certain places. Where I grew up is one of them. Recently the city has made national news for being the 4th kinkiest in america. Seriously, it has a population of less than 2000 and Kathy Lee and Hooda were talking about it on the Today Show. I would have to think it has to be close to having the most bars per capital too, because there are 32 for the 1500 people there, so ya'll know what the local pastime is. 
So anyway, it has been about a year since the last time I was up and I really only keep up on the local sports action when checking out the daily paper. Occasionally I check the obits and if I see a familiar name, I'll read the brief article there is. After our fantastic finish yesterday we headed to one of the local taverns and took in some refreshments. Blue Moon must be popular with the running crowd because the 2 places we went in were out of it. We decided maybe we should head out and grab some lunch. On the way out my friend Jill's Dad said something about our shirts and she said we got them at the local screen printer(I'm avoiding some names to protect the innocent) he said well he may be off to jail soon. I didn't think much of it because there are a number of offenses that the locals go to jail for on a routine basis. We then decide before we go have lunch we have to stop at the local screen printer's to thank him for the shirts. Number one thing that would only happen in Hurley, my friend Jill asks the owner, "hey, you still have the stripper boots?" "yeah, they are in the other room around the corner." Sure enough, he not only prints up shirts for the locals and tourists, he rents tuxs and has a large selection of stripper shoes and boots, along with a few outfits for the working girl. I about died. I know the girls gotta get their kicks some where, but it just seems like an odd pairing, but "that's how I roll." he says as he's starting to plan shirts that say, "where hwy 51 ends and the Kink begins." He also said the gem, "in Hurley you don't lose your girlfriend you lose your turn." NICE. My friend Jill's friend from the Twin Cities is just flabbergasted, but actually tries a pair on. Our other friend, Jason, asks him how the apartments upstairs are going. He goes on about how much money he has stuck into them and says let me set this shirt up and I'll give you a tour. 
We head up and people you will not believe this place, The first apt you walk into is like a fantasy hunting cabin bar. Horned chandeliers, weird wood clocks, and even the famous leg lamp. He says oh be careful of the table some girl was dancing on it the other night and it broke. In one of the bedrooms is a massage table and one can only imagine what goes on in there, and then a normal bed room. We head to the next apt and I can only imagine what is to come, I am surprised when it is a nicely done studio with a murphy bed. But, at this point he starts on about all the people who come through and he entertains customers, friends what have you. And again my mind goes to the bad place, "what in the world goes on up here?" We head over to the third apt and it is like a tiki lounge living room with a bedroom with a north woods theme and what everyone needs a room with a tanning bed and a shelving unit with any type of tanning oil you should need. He flips it on like one of us is going to get in a tan while we're there. We then go into the last room in this place which is a little bar area that has of course a fresh keg. He sets up a pitcher for us and says hang out, I gotta go check on the shop. The five of us, just look at each other, pull up a stool and about all of us just laugh as we are in awe of the total themeness and weirdness of the joint. At one point Jason has asked him which one he lives in and he said, "hell, I live in them all." He also went into how he was being set up for dealing a controlled substance. Where else in the world would this happen to someone.? All I can wonder is just how many strippers have frequented the place and am a bit creeped out. After we have a couple beers we decide we really should get lunch.  We end up sitting in the number of chairs outside the business waiting to say our good byes because he has gone off around the corner. Who just leaves their business, not only to give a 30 min tour of the upper apts, but to take a stroll leaving his dogs on the front stoop? He comes back and we say our thanks for the tour and such and say we're off to Don and GGs for lunch. He goes on about how we should do this other stuff and we say, yeah, sure and head out.  I wish I would have had my camera. Jill, Brent, and Caroline took quite a few. What was extra crazy is he at one point said, "my life is like a movie, it is Jumanji everyday." Jumanji, who compares their life to Jumanji?
So I meet up with a couple who are friends of mine later that night and say, "You will not believe what we did this afternoon!" I tell them about going to the apts and they look at me like I was bat $hit crazy. The wife was like you are now on a bunch of surveillance tapes, there are police cameras everywhere there. It was the craziest thing that would only happen in Hurley.  It ended up being quite the talk later in the the evening too when we told Jill's sister about it. Apparently, I need to read more than the sports section when I look at the local paper.


Laura said...

That's crazy! Jumanji is the best part!

Michelle Leigh said...

LOL, sounds entertaining to say the least!