It's a Very, Very Fine House

So, I debated which blog to post this in and as you can see I've picked this one so here goes....

The past couple weeks have been unbearably hard. I went through a week where I was mad, ragey mad. I don't know if it is the onslaught of having the divorce become final next month compiled with Peanut Butter's birthday. I started obsessing over the house. How dare them take the house from me? I put good money into that house and she just waltzes in and takes over. I think how my place is so inadequate, what was I thinking? I have no idea where it is all coming from. I really didn't want the house, getting something monetary out of it would have been nice, but since we owe more that it is worth that isn't happening. I meet with my head shrinker and tell her I don't get what the deal is, my obsession with the house, I can't afford the house, the house needs so much done to it, the house is just a reminder of us. She said what does it represent to you and "ding" we have a winner, it was a home, it was happy, safety, family, it represented so much in that matter, and the fact that it is Peanut Butter's home and I moved out of it. That and someone wasted no time moving into it. 

I know my place isn't a palace and I know it isn't quite home yet, it is hard. It is hard to hear my baby say, "Mama someday you get a new house." Someday I will, but for now I have to make due with what I have. A nice little place in a nice quiet neighborhood that needs paint.