Friday, September 18, 2009

Better Living Through Modern Chemisty

Today I came to the realization that I may just need to go back to taking something. I took wellbutrin initially to quit smoking, but I actually felt much better taking it. I went off it for a while when I became pregnant and was put back on it when my NP decided my bawling over my job during my visit was enough. After a few months I went off of it again. I didn't really have a bout with post partum and I was feeling well. Today it hit me as I am into my pink week of pill and am a raging biotch that this is the only feeling I have been feeling lately. I almost feel like a robot going through the motions of the day, keeping a schedule and the monotony going. J and I had a huge argument over this a few weeks ago and as much as I think I am trying, I am failing. I really hate to say I need something to make me "happy," but at this point I don't know if I am making things worse by not. I normally do not like to take anything unless I absolutely have to. I have had a headache for a week now and still have yet to take anything for it. I work on a unit at work where a good percentage of the fellas take a myriad of medications to as my coworker puts it to have "better living through modern chemistry." Right now this doesn't sound so bad, I just want to not be a zombie for a little while.

6 comments:

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

Oh, Robin! If it makes you feel any better, I think I could have written the exact same thing. Going through the motions - and knowing how repeatative and boring they can be - is the worst feeling. I too hate having to pharmaceutically induce happiness, but hate the alternative worse. Hang in there!

Denise said...

Robyn~I can relate first hand! I went through a period a few years back that was the hardest time of my live (change in job-stuff going on at work-too much stress)and I was dealing with terrible anxiety and some depression. It wasn't until a friend of mine said to me "maybe you need to see someone for this" it was the hardest thing for me to admit that "I needed help-me the happy go lucky person needed HELP" but I have to tell ya I did! I got the help I needed and no longer feel bad about it. I am still taking a pill I have not had the courage to go off of it because I NEVER want to feel the way i did then..ever. It is ok to need something. I am a better MOM for sure! You are not alone and it is OK to have a little help every now and again.....(((HUGS))) hang in there. Love ya

Michelle Leigh said...

Well, you know I'm all for it. If you need it, then you should use it. Why would you live your life being bitchy and unhappy. It's just like getting a tooth pulled, yeah you could do it without drug intervention, but why if there are numbing agents available to ease the pain? Anyway, good for you for taking that step and hopefully it kicks in quickly!

Leslie Collins said...

If it makes you feel better, I would definitely start using it again. Its a lot better than feeling the way you are feeling! Hang in there. Hope things get better soon.

April said...

You have to do what you gotta do to be happy...we've all been there/done that at some point in time (or MULTIPLE points in time, heh) so don't feel badly if that's what you need right now! (P.S. sorry I hAven't been around in forever!!)

imbeingheldhostage said...

I think several of us can relate. Last winter I increased my vit b intake. It seems to help. I think every girl should be taught how imbalanced hormones alter rational thinking because when I was growing up I thought I was just a terrible person. Now I see it could've been managed all along.

Be nice to you. There's a physical reason you're becoming a biotch and there's nothing to be ashamed about if you need to take something to help.