Not So Good News

I got an email from my Dad letting my know that my Grandma is not doing very well at all. She has been pretty sick for quite awhile, but it seems she is nearing the end. We were going to see her on Christmas, but my uncle didn't think it would be a good idea. I honestly think he wants us to remember her how she was and not how she is. She has congestive heart failure and either dementia and/or Alzheimer's. My uncle said she probably wouldn't know who we were if we visited. I'm feeling bad about it and J is right in a way, that I don't want to remember her like that. J said he couldn't visit his Grandmother after awhile it was just too hard.

Here's to remembering when she could remember.

PhotoStory Friday: Pizza Party

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Pizza Party

Miss Peanut Butter loves pizza. Nana found this great Melissa and Doug pizza party set for her. She is having a blast with it. She puts toppings on, she takes them off, she slices up the pizza and offers up a slice. It is a toy that actually keeps her pretty entertained for more than 10 minutes. The only bad thing is the pizza is now upstairs in her room, because she had to take up there to bake in her oven, and the toppings are downstairs. When I say downstairs I mean all over the downstairs. I find a pepperoni here, a mushroom there, and peppers where they just do not belong, there must be 100 topping pieces. I am going to have to gather them up and take them upstairs so they can be reunited with the pizza and have a party.

Work and Why it Sucks

I am more than happy to have my pretty recession proof job, but I'm going to whine about it a bit. We work on this schedule that is a PITA. We run our days off as such, work seven days, Tues, Weds off, work seven days, Thurs, Friday off work six days have Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon off(yay 4day weekend) work seven days, Tues, Weds off, and here comes the kicker, work 7, have Thurs off, work Friday, have Sat, Sun, Mon off. This going in for one day sucks. Thurs doesn't even seem like day off. A lot of people fill in this day with a vacation day or a holiday, so you essentially have a 5 day weekend, but since it is the beginning of the year and I have used a bit of leave time already I am forcing myself to work Friday. Peanut Butter is also scheduled for full day daycare since J has to work 1st shift too on Friday, so I can't even take the day without feeling guilty about J paying for the daycare. Normally it she is just scheduled for a half day and I get a little me time, but for some reason that extra $22 weighs on me and I can't do it. It is killing me.

I also worked the last two days in our hospital ward. I often feel guilty about working there, because I really don't have to do very much but watch the nursing staff work. But we have a guy that is just wasting away. I usually don't care to much and just look up what they did and that quells any sort of caring I did have. The bad thing about being incarcerated is that the State has to do everything in its power to keep you alive, unless you are the point you can make the sound descion to have a DNR and a power of attorney. If you should go a little off the deep end before these things happen well, we will strap you to the bed to force fluids into you, even if you are begging to die. Seeing a guy put his hands together asking you to please kill him can be a bit much sometimes, even if he tried to throw his ensure all over you that morning. I'm hoping he gets his wish before I work up there again next Friday, though I don't think he will make it the weekend.

That being said I'm going to spend the my day off, that doesn't feel like a day off, with Miss Peanut Butter tomorrow, stocking up the house with retail therapy at Target and Panera for lunch. Maybe a movie.

25 Random Facts

Yes, I did this on facebook, but I thought it was funny how everyone doing the 25 facts on facebook made news. I think they did a segment on GMA about it, well one of those shows anyway. And since I have some readers that are not on face and I have been lacking in the post department, here it is.


1. I love to brush my teeth. I love the way they feel after brushing. I even enjoy getting them cleaned at the dentist. I wish I had never smoked so they wouldn't be stained, but I have noticed them getting slightly whiter. Thank you Jason whitening toothpaste.

2. I swore I would never dress my girl in pink. Fuchsia doesn't count as pink does it?

3. I wish I was more techno savvy. I, for the life of me, cannot figure out Photo Shop, HTML, how to make a blog banner or anything remotely creative on the computer. I am secretly craving inside to be and IT gal.

4. I had no idea what to expect when I started blogging. I have encountered some fabulous people.

5. I gained 50 pounds when I was pregnant. I lost that and 20 more in about a year and a half. I would like to lose more, but am stuck. I have even taken to running to try and helps this. Running can simply be hell, I can't run very far, yet I keep doing it.

6. I yell. I have a horrible temper and yell. I internalize, stew, and yell. I then yell and swear. It is the one thing I wish I could change about myself, yet it is the hardest to change.

7. I like to scrapbook. I wish I had more time for it. I wish I was more creative with titles and such. I will forever have 5 or so layouts sitting finished except for the title.

8. As much as I try to talk myself into wanting to have another child, I can't. Some days I barely make it through the day with the one I have. Two of my own would probably kill me.

9. I hate math, as in hard, formula related math like calc and advanced algebra. I hate the repetition it takes to learn math; I find it tedious. It is one of the reasons I switched majors in college.

10. I love sweets, especially cookies. I have a hard time resisting cookies. I do not, however, like my meals sweet. I don't like BBQ sauce, sweet and sour, honey glazed, or even sloppy joes for that matter. I will salt the heck out of sloppy joes to make them edible. I feel lunch and supper meals should be salty and followed by a good dose of sweet in a dessert form.

11. I no longer drink alcohol. I did more than enough damage to myself to last me a while and I think I have issues with it. Not Intervention type issues, just issues. This may be why I enjoy Intervention and Celebrity Rehab, I feel that could be me if I took it to the next level.

12. I really enjoy traveling. I cannot wait until Maggie is old enough to get something out of traveling, so we can see the world together.

13. I can pick up little things in other languages quickly. I wish I could get myself to fully learn Spanish.

14. The only reason I like my job is the crap hours 5:45a-1:45p, and the ability to have any day off I want with in reason. The hours let me spend quite a bit of time with the girl so I don't feel so bad about working, even though I know I could not be a stay at home mom.

15. My husband and I moved in together after dating a month.

16. I wear a size 11 womens' shoe which is why I acquire purses and my daughter has a gazillion pairs of shoes.

17. Is there a store better than target? It is my retail therapy along with scrapbook paper.

18. I do not make meatloaf or any casseroles.

19. I wish I could find a pair of "low rise" jeans that didn't slide off my ass. I like where they sit when I try them on, yet I never remember to sit and stand and have them, have me looking like a gang member, there is no whale tail here, just a whale sized tail. Other jeans sit way too high for me. It is my conundrum.

20. I like the smell of fresh cut grass.

21. I color my hair because I am slowly going grey.

22. As much as I complain about my daughter sleeping in our bed, I do enjoy it sometimes.

23. I am a stepmom.

24. I have swam in Lake Superior, yes it is cold.

25. The fact that kids sporting tournaments sell plastic bottles of everything, yet never have recycling bins drives me batty.

Friday Freak Out

It is Friday night and Peanut Butter is supposed to be in bed, but I hear pitter patters in her room. Why will she not go to bed for me?????? She lays right down for J and stays in bed. She may come out in the middle of the night, but at least she slept in her bed for some of the night. I would like to attempt to do a little scrapbooking once she falls asleep, but until she does I'm afraid to go in my room and have her hanging out outside the door because she won't go to bed. She can climb in with me at 1 or 2 am I won't mind.

J is "up north" for the weekend. It is the annual boys drinking weekend. I took a vacation day tomorrow and my Mom is coming down in the afternoon to stay and watch PB on Sunday while I work. I had asked The Boy to clean his room yesterday since my Mom will be staying there and he put it off until 15 min before he was going to leave today, so it is a piss poor job, along with not bringing the garbage cans up from the street as he walked by them, and not feeding the dog. He is grating that last nerve. If it was up to me I'd be tempted to take his stinking cell phone instead of holding the texting option hostage until he starts getting his crap together.

The Boy's Mom must be assuming I am going to The Boy's basketball tournament tomorrow. I am probably going to go, but this is the one weekend when I really don't have to, I don't have J to help with keeping PB occupied, and when it isn't her weekend she rarely shows up. I don't know why I have these feelings on the issue. I feel I have to be at these things, because I know what it is like to not have anyone at your functions, but I think I let these feelings make me do things I don't want to. I then resent The Boy's Mom for not showing up on her non weekends when we go every weekend. I resent the fact that some weekend I would like to "make plans" that don't include sitting in a high school gym all Saturday and some Sundays. I take time off of work to go to this stuff. J tells me occasionally don't take off, but as I said before, I feel bad not being there and I know he wants someone to help with the girl. I don't know, I'm just conflicted with feeling crapped on by The Boy and not making any headway in that department. Rant over.

Peanut Butter actually halfway behaved herself at dinner tonight. I was afraid to go out, but so didn't want to cook. She was 100 times better behaved than the last time. Then we stopped at Wally World and it was a whole other story. She wanted to walk and it ended up taking us forever, I finally put her in the cart and rushed to get the 5 items we went in for. I was disappointed I was hoping to get this tricycle that Nicole's daughter has since it was on clearance for $21 and there were 3 left the last time I was in. I should have just put the stinking thing on my credit card when I saw them, because they were gone.

And I am so lame this is the second week in a row I couldn't muster a PhotoStory Friday.

A Change in Plans

Miss Peanut Butter knew how to start the day right with an hour long tantrum about using the potty. But someone though it would be a good idea for her to not only have pizza for breakfast but to eat it in the recliner. Daddy is right, his bark is worse than his bite.

I filled out paperwork to have another speech evaluation and figure out what our out of pocket costs would be. I know that you find the money when you have to, but it is another bill.

J has decided to flip our va-cay plans this August. Instead of us visiting out nation's capital and perhaps a glimpse of Obama, he is now thinking Chicago. As much as Chicago could be fun, I am a little disappointed. He also led me to believe that The Boy had a vested interest in going to Chi Town, but uppon investigating this The Boy said he hasn't mentioned anything to his father on the subject. I get that D.C. may be a bit much for Miss PB at this time, but I am not doing a theme park(Great America) with the girl unless it is Disney or she is much older. I have thrown Minneapolis into the mix for my own selfish reasons, which is the possiblity of running into some fellow bloggers. A 4hr drive just seems like more of a vacation than a 2 hr drive. So I'm sure we will be breaking down the pluses and minuses of both. If any MN peeps want to give me some ideas on what to see or do there other than the Mall and Zoo, which is already in the mix go ahead and fire away, I don't think I really have any Chicagoans, but if anyone wants to give a shout out for that fair city, by all means do. I at least got him to forget about Door County. I am not doing a vacation in my own state.

A Weekend of Sickies

Friday night Peanut Butter woke up awash in her vomit. The one thing I cannot do is puke, but I some how managed the every 30 minute run to the toilet that night. But by 2:30am I was pretty sure I wasn't going to make that 4:30 wake up for work, so I took the day family illness. By 8:30am PB was ready to go. She slammed 2 cups of milk which I was not looking forward to seeing come back up, but it stayed down. We headed off to The Boy's basketball tournament.

PB was in pretty good spirits the whole day. She did nap all peacefully on my lap through one of the games. She did, however, skip the concession stand almost all day. She must have still been feeling a little rumbley in the tummy. I couldn't even tempt her with ice cream, she took it and wouldn't eat it. That never happens.

She must have passed on the bug to me. After work on Sunday I went to the gym to burn up calories that were bound to be eaten at our Super Bowl party. When I got home I wasn't feeling so hot. I figured I didn't eat lunch and I was hungry. We put out a smorgasbord for 30 people, and only had about 15 coming. J goes way overboard when he buys food for anything. Just for and idea he bought 5 things of salsa. I told him we probably wouldn't go through 2 and we didn't. But as half time came everybody put on thier 3-D glasses and after about 10 seconds I felt sick and couldn't watch with them on anymore. The Sobe commercial came on and everyone was oohing and ahing and I looked around the room and it looked like some cinema from the 50's with everyone wearing thier 3-D glasses.

But after that the nausea built and I gave it. I felt a 100 times better, yet couldn't think of eating anything. When I went to bed I still felt crummy and hoped I would make it in to work. I did but felt like I drank the whole night at our party and hadn't. J called me and the wealth had been spread to him and he was taking the day. Hopefully we'll all be back to normal soon.