I am starting to beat back the winter blues and feeling the need to either post or get rid of the blog, so here I am.
It has been a tough month since I last posted. A good friend of mine died of heart disease at 34, yes, 34. It is crazy. It was especially painful since he is a mutual friend of the ex and I and I felt pushed out. I was made to feel, my feelings didn't count. I was slammed during the week of the funeral about who I could and couldn't talk to, and who had my best interests. I'm pretty sure it wasn't my ex by the way he was acting. After sitting for 3 hours of a celebration of life, I followed up the ride home by giving myself alcohol poisoning and ending the weekend by having the ex berate me by text on my intentions of getting into it with his skank at a funeral( of which I had none) which was followed up by him telling me we were only going to talk about PB and I should get my own cell plan.
This plan of his is actually going good for me. I was actually planning on getting my own cell plan when my tax refund came in and trying to stay actual friends with him was incredibly stressful. I know he is hiding some big secret from me and I don't care. If and when the bomb drops so be it, but I no longer care who I talk to and what he thinks about it. I like just saying, "I have nothing for you." when one of us is done talking to PB. I can almost laugh when I see the skank at work because she is thinks she is making me miserable and frankly I've let go. No, I will never have a conversation with her until I get an apology, but I feel I am better off now.
Anyhoo, I am straddling the fence on whether or not to explore internet dating. Frankly the pool I am in is less than stellar and I am not in my twenties living at the bar anymore. Yet, I don't know if the internet is the way to go either and of course I tossed the magazine that has some different options than match and eharm.
PB seems to be doing well in school. It is great fun for me seeing her learning to read. She does make up a lot of words, but I still love it. We have conferences this month so we'll find out more. I put her in skating since she said she wanted to play hockey and then she saw the girls in skirts and wants to figure skate. For now she just walks, falls, and gets back up. I will probably try it again when they offer it.
I've been trying to get her back in swim, but parks and rec fills in a nanosecond, so I'm hoping to get her in the end of March. After which T-ball will start.
I'm looking at buying a house. I met with an agent at an open house at this little house that I've had my eye on. He sounded pretty promising until he said I have to get the loan for the ex's hunting land off my credit to qualify for a loan. I have been trying to get off the house and land titles since the divorce. I only have my name on the land loan which is better than both that and the house mortgage. I don't know why he is dragging his feet on this and now with our friend dying the land might be tied up longer. He did say he'd work on in this week. I so hope he does, since buying would save me almost $200 a month. The house I'm eyeing up is pretty small, but really might be a tad bigger than what I'm in now and it would be mine. It is in total old lady mode, but looking past the stuff it has potential.
