Where's Jelly

Don't You Forget About Me

2012-01-15T20:34:00.000-06:00

Since my life has become consumed with Pintrest and ~~stalking~~ chatting on Facebook, I have let this blog get a little dusty. Truth be told the winter blues have settled in and I need to purge a bit.

Yes, I sometimes get the winter blues and this year is no exception. Strangely they started when we were having the best weather in January ever. I mean, I ran outside in a t-shirt and capris and still got a sweat on. But, the short days, combined with missing Peanut Butter on days I don't have her and seemingly messing up the only flash of interest another person had in me since getting divorced, I have been feeling like curling up in bed and just sleeping, but I have been hauling my butt to work fighting off tears as I try to get through this. Last night I had a little mental break down and surprisingly am starting to feel better and I got my PB back today and have my days off coming Tuesday, Wednesday. So things seem to be getting a little brighter and hopefully the blues are on their way out.

Today when after PB got dropped off, she showed me what appeared to be a face make up brush. I asked what she had and she said a brush, she and brushed her face. I was like great. Now the person for whom this saying

rings true for me, has worn off on my PB and she things she has to wear a ton of make up to be pretty. My biggest fear is for PB to grow up and think she has to be "pretty" to get things. But I say to myself it is just a brush and shrug it off until I see all this powder flying off of it and say, "WTF?" I ask to see the brush and it is body shimmer powder from Victoria Secrets. I about lost it, who buys that for a 5 year old? Well, the same person who took her there shopping today. Apparently they were on a little spree in Victoria's, spraying perfume and all kinds of fun stuff. Am I crazy or is spending time with a 5 year old in Victoria Secrets inappropriate? I get running in to grab an item or two. But I would never think to buy my kid something there.

Ah, such is my life.

Best Intentions

2011-12-22T19:13:00.002-06:00

This blog like everything else I have the best intentions of keeping up and then stuff just gets in the way. I had every intention of making or at least sending Christmas cards this year, I did get card stock cut. I may have to do a New Years card. I have had every intention of getting this house back in order, but oy, as much as I try to keep up with and organize things, things seem to pile up and my mini tornado flies through. I am happy to say I got the bathroom clean and clean sheets on the beds. I couldn't believe I finished all my wrapping last night, I was pretty dang proud of myself, until I found a couple items I missed. I feel so pressured for Christmas and I don't know why. I have zero plans. Peanut Butter is with her dad on Christmas Eve and she doesn't come over until 10ish on Christmas day. My mom and I are supposed to do dinner or something on Christmas Eve, but nothing has been set. I am dying to get out and just hang out with some people, but I don't know what to ask people. I have also been confused about a certain someone. Out of the blue it seem this person starting talking to me and then a few messages back and forth. I don't know if it is just pure friend type talking, but I want to say just ask me out already. But knowing my luck this is just a huge misunderstanding on my part. Did I mention my dryer died, yeah, that is the kind of luck I'm talking about. I noticed the other night it ran all night on the shut off when clothes are dry mode, and they clothes were dry. Then I did laundry and crud, the clothes didn't dry. I had to wear semi wet pants to work. I've had a friend looking at it and I'm thinking I should just call it a loss and head to sears and just get another one. Well that's about it for the moment. Stay tuned for a Poland post and more ramblings from me.

dear running

2011-12-04T19:08:00.001-06:00

It's not you, it's me. I used to feel like this:

Source: momsbyheart.net via Amy on Pinterest

But now I even feel like the bottom picture when I'm running. It is as if I am running in quicksand for 4 miles every time I go out. I think I need to move on for a bit and take a break. Through the wonders of pintrest, I found a web site that has all the insanity workouts and this body needs some insanity. The mind is saying food, fat, stay warm, my body is saying eek I am not fitting into my pants. I need some intensity back I need to not be able to walk the next day and quite frankly just running isn't cutting it. I need my ass kicked. I did Jackie Warner Xtreme Timesaver the other day and crap, it was hard. But I actually felt like I accomplished something for a hot minute.

I was supposed to blog all month?

2011-11-21T19:07:00.001-06:00

Yeah, that went well.
Time for a little catch up.

After 2 months of waiting I finally got called and offered the job I really wanted to get me out of the big house. I was so excited until the guy said 2nd shift 3:30-11:30. My heart sank. I would never see Peanut Butter on this shift except my days off. I hated turning it down.
I actually got vacation time in July, so Peanut Butter and I are Ocean City bound again. I think we might take our time and drive this time. I ended up getting 2 weeks back to back so we will have plenty of time, barring any protest from her Dad.
Took PB to the Dells for the night last Friday. She had a blast. I have never climbed so many stairs in 2 days. I was surprised how much she loved the big tube slide, that is until we flipped over and she went underwater. It was almost hilarious how it happened. She was singing loudly, "I-I-I like it, I like it give me more." as we were going down and we dumped out the tube and flipped over on our innertube and she didn't like it so much any more.
Spent way too much at the Disney store for Christmas and managed to buy somethings with PB with me how I managed that I don't know, though she did say, " I was peeking and saw you buy me a blue brush."
Peanut Butter has a loose tooth. She is excited. She has been asking for months when she was ever going to lose a tooth.
And lastly, My mom and I are headed to Poland next month, so excited. I just hope it isn't too cold.

Shoes

2011-11-06T19:32:00.002-06:00

I have now come to dislike buying shoes for Peanut Butter. I bought a pair at Target, I swear a couple weeks ago and J brought them over today when he dropped PB off and the strap had ripped off. I went to 4 stores to replace the gym shoes. PB has to wear gym shoes everyday but Tuesday to school, so buying cute shoes is a waste since she can't/won't wear them to school. I found a pair I liked at shopko, but they were brown and I wanted the black in that style. Fleet Farm had nothing, I was afraid anything I bought at wally world would rip right away like the Target pair, so I found a pair at Kohls. They aren't my favorite because, well they are gym shoes, but I did have a 15% off coupon so I bought them. And can I just say, Sketchers, I despise you, my PB fawns over your Twinkle Toes and I just cringe at the 44 dollar on sale price tag. $44 for a pair of shoes my kid will be lucky to wear 6 months. I was praying there was a pair in her size on clearance, but alas they were all 2 sizes to big.

Happy Saturday

2011-11-05T19:05:00.002-06:00

Things I am happy about this week:

Name changed, must remember to get my passport done.
I was happy how Peanut Butter's costume came out.
I ran 13 miles this week on my way to 50 in November.
Screw up my checkbook the good way. Deducted to much and said shoot it is going to be a tight week, but realized a few days later I was double deducting a charge.
Halloween candy, though this can be a negative too.
Got 2 of PB's Christmas gifts out of the way. The girl who owns 5 dollhouses between her dad and I wants another one, a barbie size one. Good Grief, I am torn on whether or not to get her one. The only reason I am considering a barbie size one, is I know it will get played with.
We get to set the clocks back tonight, a little extra sleep.
Honeycrisp apples with caramel and brie cheese, yum.
Hearing PB say I Love You!
Revenge, my new favorite show.

All about the Benjamins

2011-11-04T18:33:00.000-06:00

This is a backdated post since I worked a double yesterday and didn't get a chance to post. Why would I subject myself to 16 hours at the big house, well I am flat broke and I have back insurance premiums to pay and unless your exhusband makes a boatload more than you, getting divorced is a big drain on the bank account. Working overtime is not my favorite thing to do, so what do I do? This introvert decided it would be a great idea to make extra money being a 31gifts consultant. I don't know what I was thinking, my kit arrived today and I am more than overwhelmed. The only plus in this deal is I have yet to see anyone in this area have a 31 party so, fingers crossed I hit my requirements and can get out. If it works out better, I will be pleasantly surprised.

A New Territory

2011-11-03T19:04:00.000-06:00

I was chatting with a friend today and when I was available for dinner came up. I was a bit taken aback. I said it depends on the night. I wasn't sure if this person has dinner in mine or date dinner. We continued talking and again brought up dinner, but said no strings attached, just dinner and maybe a chance to vent. I am new to the being single game, so I have no idea how to take this. To make matters a little worse I don't have any of "those" type feelings for the guy. Great person, like to talk with him, now scared where the conversation will go. EEK.

Halloween

2011-11-02T19:03:00.000-06:00

Miss Peanut Butter wanted to be Frankie Stein from Monster High, I could of just bought the dang costume from wally world fro 20 bucks, but no, I being the want to be crafty person that I am, had to make it myself.

She was extra excited she got to wear "lip gloss" and had scars put on her face. She didn't do a whole lot of Trick or Treating, but some how came home with a load of candy. Candy, that she will never eat, so it sits here tempting me.

We did set a bowl up for Trick or Treaters on the honor system and yeah, that went to heck. We actually stopped back at the house for PB to use the potty and while we were in the house someone dumped the whole bowl. Jerks. PB was upset! so was I. We headed back out and PB wanted to hand out candy the last hour so I had to stop at the local gas station and pick up some more candy, so much for the coupons I used on the first batch. But she had a ball handing out candy for the last hour, and I got to get dinner made while she did. I worked out perfect.

Trampled in Milwaukee

2011-11-01T19:53:00.000-06:00

Blogging month it is. I am going to give it a whirl. I have a few things to post about so, this is a good opportunity to do so.

First up. I went to my first concert in a long time and eek, by myself. I am a total introvert, so doing this was an adventure in itself. A friend of mine from high school who by the luck of facebook, we actually keep up with each other as best we can. He told me about this band Trampled by Turtles, I know crazy name, and I liked a couple of their songs he mentioned. Like this one:

I kept adding songs from my free library downloads and saw that they were playing in Madison and Milwaukee the end of October. My friend said, "Go! Even if you go alone, you will have a good time." Upon that request I bought a ticket to the Milwaukee show since I had plans already for the night of the Madison show even though that one would have worked better.

I went, I had dinner by myself at the longest bar east of the Mississippi, then went to the show. I have never seen so much flannel/plaid in one place since the early nineties. Apparently, the lumberjack look is in with the hardcore TBT fans and I have never seen so many people drink Pabst beer. I had heard it was the new/old hot beer, but wasn't real sure 'til then. A group 4 on the Floor opened and they were pretty darn good. These United States were next and then Trampled. It was a fantastic show, the sound could of been a little better, but all in all, loved it. I have to thank my friend for telling me to go, because I would have never, ever done this before. He did say I'd find someone to talk to, but I didn't, though I didn't try too hard either.

If you get a chance check Trampled by Turtles out, they are a little on the side of Mumford and Sons. It is funny in my iTunes they are considered: country, rock, alternative, and indie. So a little for everyone.

Whew, A Little Dusty 'Round Here

2011-10-25T20:28:00.003-06:00

It has been a while since I've blogged, but I figure I'll dust things off a little and catch everyone with my amazingly busy life. HA!

Everything has been pretty good here. Miss Peanut Butter had her Parent/Teacher Conference today and she is doing really well; I love hearing that she is so fun to have in class. I hope they don't say that to everyone. She has surprisingly been a cold lunch taker. I am starting to feel bad about all the turkey sandwiches I have been sending. I should really branch out a little more. I bought sunbutter, since she had been begging for pb&j and her school is nut free, but she didn't like the sandwich. I think that is one I have to make that morning and not the night before because it got all soggy. Otherwise, I have a 6 dollar jar of sunbutter to eat myself.

Last week I went to the Twin Cities for my friend's husband's funeral. It was very sad to see a life cut short at 36 from cancer. So many nice things were said about him that makes me wish I had knew him better. My heart breaks for my friend. She is coming to the area this weekend and I'm looking forward to seeing her. I also wish I would have had more time in the TC to meet up with a few of you, but it was a very short trip.

I am still waiting to hear about getting a job that would get me out of the big house. Hopefully I hear something this week. Waiting is so hard, especially when they have changed how we pick vacation. If I should take this job I will probably miss out on the first round of picking and will have to pray that a week will still be there in July so I can take PB back to Ocean City next year.

Slow in the Blogging World

2011-10-03T18:18:00.001-06:00

I've been slacking in the blogging world. The last week or so I've been meaning to catch up with ya'lls blogs, and today I see most of you have been blogging as much as I have. I skimmed all the blogs and caught up. Sorry for the lack of comments.

It has been pretty slow action wise here. So bullet points it is

.I interviewed for a job last week that I am hoping to get. I think the interview went ok so I have my fingers crossed.
I bought a new/used car. I needed to get rid of my gas guzzlin' SUV which was draining my bank account faster than anything else. I ended up with a Subaru Impreza '08. I wanted something with AWD and this had it and it was priced right. Though now I keep finding little things dents and such that I didn't notice before.
Peanut Butter is loving school and is doing pretty good in swim lessons.
I have become addicted to Pintrest.com love this site!
I have begun to feel pretty happy about being divorced. I have not however changed my stance on being very unhappy about my daughter living in the same house with his skank.

Could Things Be Getting Better?

2011-09-17T20:35:00.001-06:00

I head into work today just hoping to make it through my eight hours and then it is Peanut Butter time, when I open my email and my ta-da mail sound goes off. I applied for a job in June that I really was interested in, but to be honest, my heart just wasn't in filling out the application, but I did and I scored pretty decent on it so I was sure I was going to get an interview. Well, like I said that was in June and I hear nothing. I was surprised I wasn't offered an interview since they were supposed to be hiring what seemed like a number of people and I ranked 14th on the application. I figured they took the top ten and I missed it. In my inbox today was a letter asking if I want to interview. I SO want to interview. This job would get me out of the big house. I would still be in my line of work per se, but it would be electronic monitoring. I want out of the big house. I can't explain how badly I want this job. I could not come at a better time. It would be a slight bump in pay and the best part.....they have first shift openings. Though, I think I will even consider third shift here just to get out of the big house. I really hope I can nail this interview.

and life goes on

2011-09-15T19:51:00.001-06:00

Peanut Butter started school last week. She was excited and seems to be adjusting well to full days. She does beg me to stay with her on the days that I drop her off though. It is heart breaking and frustrating all at the same time.

The day before my divorce was final, I took Nicole's advice and had my hair chopped off. I wanted something new, I wanted to move on, and it is just hair. I loved it when I walked out, but I'm not so sure anymore, but I'll make it work.

After the divorce was final, I laid in bed for a day. I thought I would have this feeling of closure and relief when it was done, but I didn't. I was incredibly depressed. I just was sad that it ended like this and I feel hurt that he comes off as it is just another thing, no biggie, like he had no regret about hurting me the way he did. I know I cannot control his feelings or thoughts, I just expected more. I was also in complete PB withdrawal. I missed her terribly. I got her back on Saturday, I pulled myself out of bed and took some days off from work and just enjoyed being with her. Dropping her off at school yesterday was so hard knowing I wouldn't be seeing her until Saturday. She did call last night. I am happy she asks to call me. She doesn't often ask to call her dad when she is with me.

I am still feeling down, but I am starting to feel better. My problem now is I am back to having a really hard time sleeping. I am a worrier, I sit and worry and worry and worry. I obsess and can't fall asleep. Last night I was actually really tired, yet it took my a while to fall asleep and then boom 3 am awake, obsessing. I just want to sleep.

I've also decided I want to tackle a half marathon. This is my first week of building miles or training, as they say. I found a 10 mile run on the week that I should be at 10 miles that is fairly close, well in the Midwest, that I think I'm going to do. That way I will have a goal to work toward. It is the Monster Dash in St. Paul. I've been told to do Las Vegas in December, but I really don't see myself pulling the cash together for that one, especially when I'm looking at traveling with my Mom the week after. We're looking at Florence or Prague right now. But who knows what will happen.

I turned down the promotion. It was just too much stress to add in my life right now. The money would be nice, but my sanity, what is left of it, is worth more.

and life goes on.

In A Funk

2011-09-11T11:19:00.000-06:00

I know today isn't the best day to complain about my problems, but I'm going to anyhow. I am in a funk and I don't know how to get out of it. I know people get divorced everyday, I know people get cheated on everyday, I know horrible things happen to people everyday and they move on they get through and are normal again. I don't know how to suck it up and be normal right now. I don't know if it is because, I sucked it up too hard right away and put on the brave face and said this isn't going to get the best of me and then when the day comes to actually get divorced it feel like I've been run over. Needless to say I'd probably be feeling better if I hadn't drank myself into oblivion the night before the final hearing and said lord knows what to who knows who. I was sick of holding it all in. I didn't want to deal with my marriage being over. It wasn't supposed to end this way, we were supposed to have a chance to try and pull it together before we gave up. I wonder if I gave up to quickly, but I know I could have never lived like that. I couldn't live wondering 24-7. I'm not built that way. I am also not built to talk all my problems out. I've heard that people have said they are amazed how well I'm taking this. I'm not taking it well, I have built up these huge walls so no one can know what I'm feeling. I will joke and laugh about it. I will say it doesn't bother me, but it does. I wish I had better coping skills other than holding it all in and getting alcohol poisoning drunk to deal, which makes me feel even worse about my coping skills. I don't know if being on my 3rd day of not having my little girl with me and the loneliness of it got to me or what. I don't know. I feel worse now than I did last week and I should be semi happy. I should be moving on with the next chapter of my life, but I'm scared, I'm scared I'm going to be the lonely cat lady which I can't be because I'm allergic to cats. I'm scared I don't have it in me to move forward. I did get offered that promotion and as much as I would like to take it I cannot imagine being away from my girl seven nights in a row. I know I could make it work but, knowing my girl is with the other woman instead of me kills me. I could use the money, I could use some of the distance away from them, but I can't bring myself to do it. So I've taken some days off of work hoping to get my mind back together and to suck it up and figure out how to move on. I wish there was an easy way to do it.

Thank You Canadian Mama

2011-09-03T19:50:00.000-06:00

For finding my new time suckage, and my new motto.

How to Blow an Interview Without Trying

2011-09-01T21:19:00.002-06:00

I went in and took the interview for the promotion. I thought I was doing pretty well through the first 3/4 of the oral interview. The questions seemed easier than what I thought they were going to be and I tried to think of all the benchmarks they would be looking for in each one. I got a nod at one point saying which I took as you're doing great. And then came question 4. What do you think will be the hardest thing to adjust to by promoting and I started out that learning the policies and dealing with earning respect was not really a concern of mine, I can deal with that, the hardest part would be knowing I'd have to take another shift, (and the tears start to roll) and make my family life hard for 6-8 months until I could possibly get back to first shift. Yep, I broke down in an interview. How awesome is that? I don't have enough stress in my life, so yeah, why not add trying to promote for an extra 300 dollars a month, lose seniority, lose being on first shift for 6 months to a year, lose my baby at nights, add more responsibility, and pray that I'm not stuck working doubles. WTF was I thinking and am actually considering, if they look past the whole crying jag, and offer me a position.

Timing is Everything

2011-08-30T20:13:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago I put in paperwork to promote. We have had a watershed of retirements and I thought hey, I do six months on 3rd shift and get back to first, with a little more pay. Well, I then thought of how long those six months on third shift would be, coupled with the fact that I've gotten divorced and Peanut Butter is starting school how much change can she take? How much can I take? I said I'd take an interview and then immediately regretting saying I would. I talked with a friend of mine, who is one of my supervisors, about the whole mess, she said just take the interview, if anything it is good practice. She understood where I was personally and said she just do what is best for me. I resigned myself to just cancel my interview, I can't guarantee that it will only be six months on third, there are people with my seniority or more also promoting and well, that is how jobs go. I know that there will be another round of people retiring in January when my six months of probation would be up, but it is anyone's guess how many and from what shift. I went on break later this afternoon an in the hallway I was stopped by basically my head supervisor and she asked if I'm interviewing, I said I have one set up, but I think I'm going to pass. She said I should take the interview and decide later, she said she'd work to get me a days off group I needed, which basically told me, show up and don't totally blow the interview and your promoted. I now feel obligated to show up for the interview. I told J about it and said I feel like I have to interview as to not blow my good terms with the higher ups. He said you know she is going to want you to take the promotion, they want people with seniority to promote. Argh, why didn't I do this a long time ago, but where I am is finally getting good, I'm finally getting almost any day off that I want the right way. I'm finally getting within a person or two of decent, not deal with inmates everyday, jobs. I will lose all of that by promoting. There are so many what ifs.

It's a Very, Very Fine House

2011-08-29T20:04:00.000-06:00

So, I debated which blog to post this in and as you can see I've picked this one so here goes....

The past couple weeks have been unbearably hard. I went through a week where I was mad, ragey mad. I don't know if it is the onslaught of having the divorce become final next month compiled with Peanut Butter's birthday. I started obsessing over the house. How dare them take the house from me? I put good money into that house and she just waltzes in and takes over. I think how my place is so inadequate, what was I thinking? I have no idea where it is all coming from. I really didn't want the house, getting something monetary out of it would have been nice, but since we owe more that it is worth that isn't happening. I meet with my head shrinker and tell her I don't get what the deal is, my obsession with the house, I can't afford the house, the house needs so much done to it, the house is just a reminder of us. She said what does it represent to you and "ding" we have a winner, it was a home, it was happy, safety, family, it represented so much in that matter, and the fact that it is Peanut Butter's home and I moved out of it. That and someone wasted no time moving into it.

I know my place isn't a palace and I know it isn't quite home yet, it is hard. It is hard to hear my baby say, "Mama someday you get a new house." Someday I will, but for now I have to make due with what I have. A nice little place in a nice quiet neighborhood that needs paint.

FIVE

2011-08-24T20:50:00.002-06:00

Peanut Butter turns five today. She will be headed toward kindergarten next month and I cannot believe it. It has been a hard week for me, I think a lot of it has to do with not having a "family" birthday. I tried to work something out with J, but it never came to. So what do I do I go overboard and over compensate. I had the tea party on Sunday and yesterday before we met Nana for a birthday dinner I took her for a pedi to make her toes cute.

Then we walked by Claires and I though hey maybe we should get her ears pierced. I asked J if he minded even though I knew he didn't since he wanted to do it a while ago. I asked Peanut Butter if she wanted it done and she said yes.

She did pretty good. They shot both ears at once, she cried a little when it was over, but she seems pretty happy with them.

We had dinner with my Mom and her sister. PB slept through the first 20 min or so on my lap. Apparently I wore her out at the mall. But she perked up and opened some presents.

This morning we have birthday morning. Peanut Butter opened presents:

She was pretty excited, I got her to Playmobil room sets to replace most of the Playmobil stuff that has been left on the floor and stepped on, destroying them. Hopefully now that she is a little older she will take better care of the stuff. She does love playing with the stuff though.

We did Birthday pancakes since PB doesn't like cake.

It was hard when her Daddy picked her up today. I know he should get part of birthday too, but I admit, I cried after she left.

10 Days of You: 1 Picture

2011-08-23T09:42:00.001-06:00

Last one

It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To

2011-08-22T20:27:00.000-06:00

I planned a Tea Party for Peanut Butter's birthday. I found cups and plates at Goodwill, I got some foam crowns for the girls to create their own and JoAnns had great stuff on clearance so I was able to get make your own princess wands too. I was worried that no one was coming because I only had one RSVP by my deadline, but then a few more came in. Here's the set up:

Peanut Butter was up early and anxious all day for the party. I wonder if she was up a little too early. Her friends arrived and they went to town on the tiaras and wands. It was a hit until one of PB's friends used a ribbon from the wands on her tiara and PB had a huge meltdown about it. I felt horrible for her friends with her screaming and crying over a ribbon. She some how composed herself and the kids ate, I had turkey and cheese sandwiches, I did make pb&j too, but one of the girls has a peanut allergy so I didn't bring them out, fruit salad and my apparently famous carrot muffins. PB doesn't like cake so she asked me to make the muffins for her, they have received rave reviews from the daycare.

Then something else threw PB off the deep end.

She sat and pouted, then she took the balloons for a ride.

She blew out candles, yes I had regular cupcakes too.

She opened presents the kids played in her room and then out in the backyard when the chaos started. I put up a swing in the back yard and it was a huge fight over who was on the swing, and PB went crazy that she had to share and take turns, OY! Luckily it was pick up time and the Parents started showing up. I hope the girls had fun even though Peanut Butter was a screaming crying mess for some of it.

Shoes

2011-08-18T20:33:00.002-06:00

I just ordered two pairs of shoes I would have never ever thought to order before. I know what possessed me to order them, except I liked them, they were on crazy clearance and I had a 20 coupon so I got them both with shipping for 21 dollars.

This pair

And this pair:

Normally I would not have bought anything with a heel since J hated when I was taller than him, since I don't have to worry about it, and Peanut Butter is all about getting me to be more "girly" so I pulled the trigger. Piperlime has some great shoes on clearance, I just hope they fit since there are no returns on final clearance items.

10 Days of You: 2 songs

2011-08-16T20:45:00.000-06:00

This is going to be really really hard......

Current songs
1. Learning to Breathe - Switchfoot
2. Waking Up - OneRepublic

Run songs
1. Wait so Long - Trampled by Turtles
2. The Show Goes On - Lupe Fiasco

Older Songs
1. Colorblind - Counting Crows
2. Pale Green Stars - Everclear

Only in Gooberville -long and possibly crazy

2011-08-15T20:37:00.001-06:00

There are certain things that really only happen in certain places. Where I grew up is one of them. Recently the city has made national news for being the 4th kinkiest in america. Seriously, it has a population of less than 2000 and Kathy Lee and Hooda were talking about it on the Today Show. I would have to think it has to be close to having the most bars per capital too, because there are 32 for the 1500 people there, so ya'll know what the local pastime is.

So anyway, it has been about a year since the last time I was up and I really only keep up on the local sports action when checking out the daily paper. Occasionally I check the obits and if I see a familiar name, I'll read the brief article there is. After our fantastic finish yesterday we headed to one of the local taverns and took in some refreshments. Blue Moon must be popular with the running crowd because the 2 places we went in were out of it. We decided maybe we should head out and grab some lunch. On the way out my friend Jill's Dad said something about our shirts and she said we got them at the local screen printer(I'm avoiding some names to protect the innocent) he said well he may be off to jail soon. I didn't think much of it because there are a number of offenses that the locals go to jail for on a routine basis. We then decide before we go have lunch we have to stop at the local screen printer's to thank him for the shirts. Number one thing that would only happen in Hurley, my friend Jill asks the owner, "hey, you still have the stripper boots?" "yeah, they are in the other room around the corner." Sure enough, he not only prints up shirts for the locals and tourists, he rents tuxs and has a large selection of stripper shoes and boots, along with a few outfits for the working girl. I about died. I know the girls gotta get their kicks some where, but it just seems like an odd pairing, but "that's how I roll." he says as he's starting to plan shirts that say, "where hwy 51 ends and the Kink begins." He also said the gem, "in Hurley you don't lose your girlfriend you lose your turn." NICE. My friend Jill's friend from the Twin Cities is just flabbergasted, but actually tries a pair on. Our other friend, Jason, asks him how the apartments upstairs are going. He goes on about how much money he has stuck into them and says let me set this shirt up and I'll give you a tour.

We head up and people you will not believe this place, The first apt you walk into is like a fantasy hunting cabin bar. Horned chandeliers, weird wood clocks, and even the famous leg lamp. He says oh be careful of the table some girl was dancing on it the other night and it broke. In one of the bedrooms is a massage table and one can only imagine what goes on in there, and then a normal bed room. We head to the next apt and I can only imagine what is to come, I am surprised when it is a nicely done studio with a murphy bed. But, at this point he starts on about all the people who come through and he entertains customers, friends what have you. And again my mind goes to the bad place, "what in the world goes on up here?" We head over to the third apt and it is like a tiki lounge living room with a bedroom with a north woods theme and what everyone needs a room with a tanning bed and a shelving unit with any type of tanning oil you should need. He flips it on like one of us is going to get in a tan while we're there. We then go into the last room in this place which is a little bar area that has of course a fresh keg. He sets up a pitcher for us and says hang out, I gotta go check on the shop. The five of us, just look at each other, pull up a stool and about all of us just laugh as we are in awe of the total themeness and weirdness of the joint. At one point Jason has asked him which one he lives in and he said, "hell, I live in them all." He also went into how he was being set up for dealing a controlled substance. Where else in the world would this happen to someone.? All I can wonder is just how many strippers have frequented the place and am a bit creeped out. After we have a couple beers we decide we really should get lunch. We end up sitting in the number of chairs outside the business waiting to say our good byes because he has gone off around the corner. Who just leaves their business, not only to give a 30 min tour of the upper apts, but to take a stroll leaving his dogs on the front stoop? He comes back and we say our thanks for the tour and such and say we're off to Don and GGs for lunch. He goes on about how we should do this other stuff and we say, yeah, sure and head out. I wish I would have had my camera. Jill, Brent, and Caroline took quite a few. What was extra crazy is he at one point said, "my life is like a movie, it is Jumanji everyday." Jumanji, who compares their life to Jumanji?

So I meet up with a couple who are friends of mine later that night and say, "You will not believe what we did this afternoon!" I tell them about going to the apts and they look at me like I was bat $hit crazy. The wife was like you are now on a bunch of surveillance tapes, there are police cameras everywhere there. It was the craziest thing that would only happen in Hurley. It ended up being quite the talk later in the the evening too when we told Jill's sister about it. Apparently, I need to read more than the sports section when I look at the local paper.

5 Miler in the Book

2011-08-14T21:00:00.000-06:00

I did it. I ran the whole five miles of my part of our marathon relay. My team finished its 26.2 miles in 4:16:22. We were hoping to finish in 4 hours so we were pretty close.

It seemed to take me forever to drive up. I had to drop Peanut Butter off at her Nana's and then go up from there. I think I was in the car for over 6 hours total. My hips were aching by the time I got there since they are already sore from running. I picked up our race packet and met my teammates to get our game plan. We decided to meet at 6:30 am and get to the start. I set my alarm on my phone, but where I was staying has poor cell reception so my phone searches for a signal and kills my battery. I heard it die and it was 5:00 am. I wanted 30 more minutes of sleep and there was this clock that chimed every 15 min. I heard it after the first 15 and didn't hear it again. I looked at the clock on the wall and it was 6:00, yikes. I quick showered, for reasons unknown since I was going to go sweat, and beat feet to our meeting spot. We headed out to the start of the race and my friend Jill started. A friend of hers, Jason, from high school that I also know ran our second leg and the other 3 of us went to cheer him on since we couldn't watch Jill. After cheering we headed to the start of the 3rd leg. I was still feeling good at this point, it was still cool and I was still relaxed. But after meeting back up with Jill and Jason and my leg being next, I started stressing, can I do this, I can do this, good lord what did I sign up for. Caroline ran our third leg and we went to wait for mine.

This is me and Brent who ran our last, longest and fastest leg waiting at the start of my leg. I got ready for the switch and I heard, "Robyn?" I said, "oh hey." it was one of my best friends from high school's parents. They were like we haven't seen you in a long time. I said I know, I don't get up a lot. And then Caroline came in and I was off and wouldn't you know it my right shoe felt weird, I though crap, just run with it, and then I turned the corner and the behemoth hill loomed ahead. I charged the hill and my crew drove by yelling on their way to the next split. After mile 1, I was not in my normal run mental mode, I was so worried about finishing and it started to get really sunny and hot and that is all I thought about. The shirts we wore just held the sweat and I couldn't get my sleeves to stay up, I was uncomfortable and just kept plugging along. I stopped to retie my shoes and just kept plodding along. I caught up to a group of 4 full marathoners who were walking/running. I said finally someone I can pass. I think it took me a mile and a half to actually pass them. I hit mile 19 and was so happy to only have a mile left, but it was a long ass mile. I finally saw Caroline and said, "How much further is it?" She said just around the bend. I'm like kick ass and begin to "sprint" to get this over with and I turn the curve to this awful hill. But I climb it and send Brent on his way.

According to the split times it took me an hour and ten minutes to run my five, which is really slow 14 minute miles. I walk 15 minute miles and I ran this whole thing. My mom says the split times aren't always accurate and of course I forgot to wear a watch.

Here's my team at the finish:

After it was all done, everyone felt great and then some were talking crazy like, we should find a 6th and next year do 3 half marathon relay teams. Um, yeah, not quite ready for that yet, nearly died doing the 5 miles.

Stay tuned to my next post, things that only happen in Hurley.

10 Days of You: 3 Films

2011-08-08T20:06:00.000-06:00

This is going to be a hard one, I like so many movies.

Life is Beautiful. Watch this one with subtitles it is so much better than the dubbed English, you hear the inflections and it is just that much better, trust me. Another WWII movie that is superb is The Pianist, I can only wonder what I would do to stay alive in similar circumstances.
Pretty in Pink. John Hughes was a genius. The music, Duckie, Iona, Blaine "that's a major appliance it's not a name, and James Spader is the perfect slime ball. I always wanted Molly's red hair. My other favorite 80's movie is Breakfast Club, my brother and I would go back and forth with lines from this movie all the time.
Good Will Hunting, I just relate to Will, I wish I was a genius, and I wasn't abused, but I just seem to understand the character. I also love Matt Damon in the Bourne series.

Ok, I sneaked a couple others in, but hey that's how I roll.

More Than I can Chew

2011-08-07T19:53:00.000-06:00

Saturday I will be running in a marathon relay in my hometown. I think I may have bitten off more than I can chew here. I have yet to break five miles. I have come close 4.7 and today I did 4.5 hoping it was closer to 5 than it was. My problem here people is the sun. The brutal, harsh, hot, bright sun, it saps all of my energy as soon as I get started. I also took the leg of the relay that has horrible hills that I didn't think about when choosing the leg, I just thought about the pretty lake I'd be running through. My only ray of hope is it is supposed to be a high of 70 on Saturday. I'm hoping that is cool enough for my run forever feeling to kick in. There is a chance of rain too, since every race I've been in it has rained, I'm thinking it will probably rain too. I'm looking forward to seeing some of my friends and hanging out at the party after, so I will run that 5 miles if it kills me.

So my goals for this week are: get a shift of overtime in, try and get a 5 miler in on Tuesday, make invites for Peanut Butter's birthday party, finish my 5 miles of the relay, and have a blast. Peanut Butter is going to hang out with Nana for the weekend and is super excited about that.

Keeping the Girl Busy on a Budget

2011-08-05T18:13:00.000-06:00

I need a day to keep the girl busy, but not spend a lot of money. Peanut Butter mentioned going bowling, and I got a family fun pass from the Isthumus and it had 2 for 1 bowling. We headed out to the lanes.

In the middle of the 2nd game Peanut Butter had her fill and we finished the game and settled up. $9.50 for 2 games and shoes, not too bad. We went to Goodwill to hunt down some items for PB's up coming tea party for her birthday. Old Navy for some clothes for school and Target for glue sticks for school. We ate dinner at Pedro's which I also had a coupon from the family fun pass for and went to the Madison's Children's Museum. The first Thursday night of the month is free from 5-8pm and Peanut Butter had a blast.

Making pizza.

Making Shadows, this was pretty cool you stand against this white wall and there is a blast of light and your shadow is captured on the wall.

Feeding the chickens.

They had a beautiful rooftop garden. Peanut Butter is in the refuse to pose stage and it is impossible to get a photo of her.

If I could only get her to do my windows.

They have this amazing climbing apparatus. It was packed all night. Peanut Butter got lucky at the end of the night as no one was on it when we were leaving. Not that she didn't spend a ton of time earlier in the night on it.

It was a pretty good day!

10 Days of You: 4 Books

2011-08-02T19:36:00.001-06:00

One thing I like is a good book.

Lord of the Flies by William Golding
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier

A few others could have made this list, Harry Potter, In the Shadow of War, The True Story of Hansel and Gretel. Apparently I like books with a good struggle, whether physical or mental. These are all books I have no problem reading again and again. I'll also admit that The Road can be a hard book to get through. McCarthy does have his own style of writing. Yes, the other books that I have loved, I love a good Lee Child book, fast paced, kick ass, a good thriller/mystery, I like Michael Connelly and Dennis Lehane, and a good novel, This Much I Know is True by Wally Lamb is wonderful, The Spellman series is a hoot, and I like the YA with Hunger Games and The Book Thief.

Somewhat Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-27T20:26:00.001-06:00

Peanut Butter and I took in the Olbrich Garden's butterfly house yesterday.

It was pretty neat. Peanut Butter liked matching up the butterflies we saw with the chart. But, Peanut Butter was unimpressed with the short walk we took in the actual gardens. So it was a fairly quick trip.

10 Days of You: 5 Foods

2011-07-26T20:33:00.000-06:00

Food, mmmm, limiting this to five may be tough, but I'll give it a go.

Chocolate, especially dark chocolate. Chocolate brownies, chocolate ice cream, chocolate.
Pizza. Love it. Especially when it has a nice spicy sauce. I'm more of a thin crust kind of gal too. I'll eat just about any toppings, except onions, no onions. My fave would be green olives and pepperoni.
Fajitas including the rice and beans and the chips and salsa that come before you eat. Oh and avocados/guacamole
A really good Italian sub/hoagie with salt and vinegar chips and crispy dill pickles. Yes, this is just me sneaking in more food that I like.
Buffalo Chicken w/ blue cheese. I like wings, boneless wings, sandwiches, I have yet to try the dip, but I'm sure it is delish. I like hot, but not so hot that you cannot enjoy it. I am a bit partial to Quaker Steak and Lube. They actually have a bar-b-que one that I like, I normally want to gag on barbque, unfortunately it is name buckeye barbecue. Buckeyes in WI is a bad thing. But I can eat just about every one of their sauces with out dying unlike BW3 where hot starts to be too hot for me. And I am not a big fan of the owls that hoots, but it has been a while since I have eaten there.

Well that's 5 but I also like a good chicken dinner, hamburgers, cake, damn I left off cake.

Beach Bums

2011-07-24T18:37:00.000-06:00

I never thought I would really enjoy a beach vacation. I didn't think I was one for camping out on the beach in the sun. I am fair and heat isn't a plus in my book, but I took up my friends offer of going out to Ocean City, MD for a long weekend to just get away. I needed a get away. I needed to just camp out on the beach in the sun. It was great.

The trip out was long. We left the house at 5:30 am to fly out of Milwaukee at 8. We landed in DC at 11:00am and then drove for what seemed like forever to get to Ocean City. We made a few stops to break up the drive and arrived into town around 4-4:30pm. Peanut Butter was one of those kids you don't want on a plane screaming how hungry she was when I wouldn't spend 5 dollars on graham crackers. My friends were out when we got there so we wandered down to check out the miles of beach.

We met up with my friends and had dinner at a restaurant set on the beach.

We hit the beach the next day and it was beautiful The weather was awesome. Peanut Butter was not. She was so afraid of the waves that she started screaming whenever she or I got close to the water. It was sheer hell at some points.

But it got better as the day progressed.

We went to dinner that night at Dead Freddie's which had this wonderful pirate ship play set out for the kids, so adults could actually have a conversation before and after eating.

My friend Marla and I took in some outlet shopping the next day while her husband took the kids to the beach. Peanut Butter started warming up to the water.

We had someone to watch the kids so the adults could get their clubbing on. We went back to the place on the beach and hung out for a while.

The last day before we left was a morning from hell driving all over to figure out where we were going to set up on the beach. Getting 12 people to focus can be an adventure sometimes. Peanut Butter was a wee bit crabby by the time we set up and ended up napping for quite a while. But she did get out and hit the water.

It was all good until we decided to go out a little further into the water. I had PB in my arms as we headed out, when I looked up and said crap, as a huge wave pretty much creamed us. PB was done, she was back to screaming about the waves again. She did mellow out a bit later.

I think Peanut Butter ended up with heat exhaustion by the end of the day and was pretty much out from 5pm on. We headed back the next day and I've been missing the beach ever since.

10 Days of You: 6 Places

2011-07-21T19:54:00.000-06:00

I wasn't sure how to approach this one do I do 6 and 6 like Kim or just 6. I'll try just six and see what happens.

Hurley, my hometown, I have a love/hate relationship with the place. It will always be home, but I will always want to leave it behind, if that makes any sense. There are times I long for the simplicity of the area, yet wonder why since I like the hustle and bustle of a city too. I miss walking on the shores of Lake Superior looking for agates.
Paris, or anywhere in France. If I could I would buy a place there and become an expat. I love the cafes, the chocolates, trying to speak my basic French. I love just walking around. I have been lucky enough to go twice and I hopefully will take Peanut Butter one day.
New York City. The hustle and bustle of a city I love. Lots to do. Next time I go I have to hit Central Park and a show.
Madison, WI best little big town. College town, family town, politics, lakes, laid back, eclectic, it has everything, but isn't too big. I really need to get out and explore it some more.
Bavaria, I really want to go here. It looks so beautiful.
Russia, I'd also really like to travel here too. I have no idea why, it just fascinates me for some reason.

10 Days of You: 7 Wants

2011-07-12T21:26:00.000-06:00

I want my Peanut Butter to know how much I love her and how I never wanted her life to be disrupted in the way it is.
I want to live a long healthy life. Seeing people with dementia, Alzheimer, and terminal cancer at work make me hope I never get one of those diseases.
I want to finish my degree someday. Maybe now with everything that is happening is a good time to look into going back to school.
I want to win the lotto, not a huge payout or anything just enough to buy a house, take sometime off, travel, and maybe start a little business. And yes, I play, so there is a chance.
I want to learn Spanish.
I want to someday do an across the globe trip through Europe and Russia. Like the Orient Express.
I want to believe that things happen for a reason.

8 Fears

2011-07-05T13:53:00.002-06:00

That something will happen to Peanut Butter.
That I will live the rest of my life alone.
Spiders
Social Situations. I am horrible at small talk and getting to know people. I am not one of those open book people.
What people think, I try to tell myself that I don't care, but I can't help but to wonder is thought.
I will gain back a lot of the weight I have lost and/or won't lose any more.
I have wasted so much of my life.
Dying a horrible death.

10 Days of You: 9 Loves

2011-07-02T20:27:00.000-06:00

This week Nine Loves:

Burt's Bees Lip Balm. Love it. Chapstick or in the little tin, both are great.
The rare perfect temperature shower. You know when the water is the perfect temp. and you could sit under it for hours.
Traveling. I love going new places and checking out the sites. I'm not really a beach person, so we'll see how Peanut Butter and my trip to Ocean City will go.
Dark Chocolate. I am a chocolate snob. When I was in Paris the last time I bought a bunch of chocolates and made them last a very long time. I almost felt bad when everyone I went with was sharing theirs and I was hording mine.
Reading. I love a good story. Good Reads
TV I love watching a good story too. I have a pretty wide range of what I watch. From Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Homicide, Veronica Mars, Grey's, Deadliest Catch, Supernatural. I really like BBC mystery shows like Sherlock and Cracker.
I love a good lemonade.
My Mom, she has always been there for me
My Peanut Butter. It is true your whole life changes when you have a child.

Happy Sunday

2011-06-26T14:09:00.000-06:00

The 10 things I'm happy about this week are

Not having to clean pee off the front of the toilet, since I don't have anyone can't aim in my house now.
Gas prices are trickling down.
Finding cushions for my outdoor furniture.
Hanging out with family on Saturday.
Beautiful weather.
Short Rib Ragu
White Cheddar Popcorn
Running 4.6 miles
A long weekend off with Peanut Butter
Knowing I have a couple more days with PB.

Because I Can

2011-06-24T12:23:00.000-06:00

It all started 2 or so years ago, I thought, I should start running. I would struggle doing a mile here and there. Last summer I got serious and started to try an actually log miles in hopes of losing some weight. It took most of the summer run/walking on the treadmill, but I was confident enough to run my first 5K. I kept at it plugging 3 to 3.5 miles 3-4 times a week. I ran another 5K and even got talked into doing a marathon relay in which I will have to run 5 miles. After I agreed to this my life drastically changed and I wondered if I was going to run enough to build up to 5 miles. My running has been sporadic this month of June, but I have now got back into a routine. I added some mileage on Sunday, got a shorter run in Tues. and today, I was still sore from doing Jackie Warner's DVD on Weds and hoped I could struggle through 3 miles. I got it in my head that I was just going to run and run and run. I was going to run until I couldn't. I went off my usual course after about a mile and a half. I felt good. I ended up doing 4.56 miles. Had I know I was only a half a mile short I could have done another 5 blocks. I was very proud of myself, disappointed when I mapped it and it wasn't 5 miles, but I now know I can do it. I can run.

I may never run very fast, but I run and some days just keep running because I can.

10 Days of You

2011-06-23T20:08:00.000-06:00

So this little thing is going round the blogsphere, so I said what the hey. So today is 10 secrets about me. I don't know what most of my readers don't know about me, but I'll give it a go.

I lived on a resort in the middle of nowhere in Northern Wisconsin from age 3-to 4th grade. I had the longest bus ride and sometimes the road I lived on wasn't plowed, so the bus wouldn't come get me. We lived on a lake and had cross country ski trails. Now a group of families from IL own the place as their summer getaway.
I really miss playing softball. Maybe it was watching my former high school team play last week.
I have lost 40 pounds in the past year. I would like to lose 20 more, but am semi happy where I am at.
I like to go to rummage sales, but I am very picky and cheap.
I think the Brits make brilliant TV shows.
Was disturbed when watching Social Network that Mark Zuckerburg reminded me of my brother. I love him, but he can come across like that.
I am currently addicted to white cheddar popcorn and brownies.
I realized when moving I have way too many books, but do you think I got rid of any, nope. I moved them all. I would say 40% of them I have read. I either keep them to trade on paperback swap, they are "classics," or they are ones I will or at least think I will read again. I did, however throw away about 100 or so magazines I was hanging on too. But still kept a bunch of those too.
I love to snuggle with my Peanut Butter. I always thought people who co-slept with their kids were nuts, until it was 1 am and needed to be up at 4am. I see the downside of it also, breaking the habit is hard, very hard. I am using the bribe to be able to go to kindergarten you have to sleep in your own bed.
There are days at work I feel like the biggest failure, because I should be doing something career wise much better than what I am doing, yet I can't seem to get out.

Settling In

2011-06-16T20:08:00.000-06:00

Things are settling in at the new Casa de Jelly, boxes are slowly stacking up in the basement and not scattered about the house. I even started setting up my scrapbook stuff tonight. Peanut Butter is making friends in the neighborhood. I live across the street from the lake, on a very quiet street. It is an interesting mix of duplexes on the one side of the road with what seems to be mostly retired/older folks, with the exception of us and PB's new friends, who I don't know how they fit 4 kids into one duplex. It doesn't look any bigger than ours and it is tight in here with the two of us. Along the lake side of the road are really nice houses that Peanut Butter occasionally points to and says we should get that house Mama. And I say when I win the lotto we can.

Since it was outrageously expensive for me to have a four legged pet here, I had to leave the dog with J. I told PB as soon as we got things settled I'd get her a fish. I friend at work suggested a Beta since they are pretty low maintenance and are easily replace should one kick off. I am amazed this guy made it home alive.

We stopped for lunch after we bought him, he hung out on a chair while we ate, and she sloshed him around in Aldi's while I picked up the rest of our groceries. I set the tank up and let him go and amazingly he is still kicking.

New Blog

2011-06-14T18:31:00.000-06:00

I have decided to start another blog about picking up the pieces of getting divorced. I don't want to sully this one with the mess my life has become. I will continue to post here about Peanut Butter and our lives, but when I need to discuss the ugliness, the pain, and the awe. I will be on the other one. If you would like a link to my new one let me know and I will invite you, if you don't I hope you continue to keep up with us here.

T-Ball

2011-06-08T19:36:00.001-06:00

Peanut Butter started T-Ball last week. It is a very humorous way to watch baseball. From experience there are stages of baseball. T-Ball is funny, the kids don't quite get what is going on, they get excited over little things, and by the end of the game most kids are playing in the dirt. Coach pitch and minor leagues are like watching paint dry, Majors there starts to be action and the kids are either into it and start to really want to win. After that it is all good in my opinion games get as action packed as baseball gets. I don't know if softball will be the same, because of course when you are playing it as a kid you have a whole other perspective than being a spectator.

I'm really hoping my alma mater Hurley wins their game tomorrow night to put them in the semis for State and I happen to be off the day they would play in Madison and would be able to go watch. I went last year and it amazes me how different the game is played compared to baseball. I have my fingers crossed for a big win!

On another front, I am already the bad almost ex-wife. I completely forgot J's birthday yesterday. I even gave his d.o.b. over the phone for something and it didn't even phase me. It was my night with PB, and had I remembered I would have at least had her call and such. He said something today to PB about forgetting something yesterday and said it was his birthday. I felt horrible as much as I am mad at him at times, I don't want to deny him of PB's love on special days.

And on another front, I am starting to miss Direct TV. I haven't had it installed since I am not sure if I can afford it yet. I'm waiting to see how much my utilities are going to be here to see if it is in my budget. Seriously we have watched Sesame Streets "Let's Eat!" about 20 times in the last two days, PB now knows Cereal Girl( set to Material Girl) by heart now. Today I am sure we watched the Blues Clues where Salt and Pepper have a baby, Cinnamon, about 15 times. As soon as it would end PB wanted it again. Oy Vey. And as soon as I get into an episode of Breaking Bad, I have to stop it and then figure out where I left off when I go back to it. And without fail PB woke up from her nap the other day just as Samantha was getting some in SITC2. I can't win.

The Move

2011-06-04T19:35:00.000-06:00

The second hardest part of my getting a divorce has been moving into my own place and having to deal with joint custody. I am still living out of boxes after almost a week, I have been slacking in my running and today it was very hard to leave my Peanut Butter at her Dad's. It is going to be an adjustment for me not having her underfoot whenever I am not working. I'm sure once I get settled and such it will be better. Right now, pretty darn hard. I am not looking forward to having someone else in "my" house with my daughter, it is weighing heavy on my mind. I know I can't control what I can't control, but I still have feelings.

My A-Ha Moment

2011-05-26T14:16:00.000-06:00

Yes, Oprah went off the daytime syndicate yesterday. No, I didn't watch. But Oprah has a thing called and "aha moment" which is a moment in which something all becomes clear. After getting some advice from two different people over the last couple days, I had and aha moment.

A dear friend emailed me and told me to remember that while going through a divorce, we are quick to always want to put the kids first and do things for the kids. He said remember that you have to put YOU first. You have to do the things necessary to keep your sanity, health, happiness to be able to have a good environment for the kids. It is easy to lose sight of that sometimes.

Another bit of wisdom I received was, you can't control what you can't control. So simple, yet a huge obstacle in what I am going through right now. I spend so much time and energy worrying about what I cannot control, no mater how much I would like to control it. I cannot control someone else's feelings, motivations, actions, or the like. They are going to do what they are going to do and to try and control or interject in to those actions is most likely futile. So instead of banging my head against the wall and hurting myself further, I am letting go of what I cannot control. This is my new mantra, "I cannot waste time and energy on what I cannot control." Let's just hope I can keep telling myself this.

5k #2 in the Books

2011-05-14T15:21:00.000-06:00

Last month I took in a runners clinic at the hospital to try and get some tips. Hip stretching was about the most useful thing I took away, but my $20 clinic fee also registered me for the Nurses 5k. This past week I had a decent run on Monday and then the weather stopped cooperating again. Wednesday it poured so I gave Jillian's 30day shred level 3 everything plus, since I had a crappy day, and then I said to myself I have to a least run on Thursday or I will die on Saturday. Well, it was 80 degrees and after it has been only in the 50s the past month it may as well have been 110 degrees. I also got a new pair of shoes to break in. Lets just say Thursday's run was a epic fail. My legs were so tight from Jillian that I had to stop a mile in and stretch my hamstrings out, which didn't help, my shoes started rubbing on the back of my right heel and pinching my left pinkie toe, and I was hot, sweaty, yucky hot. At this point my mental toughness lost it. I had to walk/run the last 2 miles. I did decide that if I was going to walk my run portions were going to be my version of speed work, ie 2 block sprints. It didn't go well, when I walked in the house, J even commented, well how did that work for you.

I began to fret about today, would I even be able to run the three miles. I didn't sleep real well, since when I'm worried I stress about things and don't sleep well. I got to the hospital way earlier than I had to and waited and dwelled on how I was going to do. I saw a guy from work's wife who just did a marathon and though crap, what am I doing here. I saw a Mom from The Boy's baseball team who said she was going to be running too, and I though well, what is the worst you can do, walk a little? I just hoped to finish in 36 minutes.

I ran, I stayed with the baseball Mom for most of the first mile when we hit a hill. When I hit a hill, my mantra becomes charge the hill, beat the hill, conquer the hill, and left baseball Mom behind. I tried staying with two ladies who were in front of me, but somehow they slipped away from me. Then I started getting emotional, thinking about everything that is going on, which I would try and shake off. I was seeking that mile 2 marker and hit it and said the hard part is over there is only a mile left. I then had another emotional bout and came up on the hospital. I saw the end in sight and then a lady passed me and I tried to keep up and then I saw the clock and heck yeah! I finished in 32:35. I was elated. I normally run about 12 min miles. Yes, it is just under 11 minute miles, but it is a lot to me.

It's Just Bread-My Take

2011-05-09T07:14:00.000-06:00

My blogger friend Nicole wrote a post called "It's Just Bread" and happened to repost it again. It is about taking on something that you have always wanted to do but were too scared, too busy, too whatever to do it. She mentions me in it. I started running about a year and a half ago and said I don't think I will ever feel like I'm a runner if I don't to a 5K or something. So I did a 5K last November. I am planning to do another on this coming Saturday. I won't be the fastest, I will chug along and finish, hopefully in less that 36 minutes. When she reposted the Bread post today, I had an "aha" moment as Oprah would say. It spoke to me on another level and while it is great to venture out and do something you have always wanted to do, but made excuses not to, it is also good advice for someone going through a situation they didn't for see coming . That is what it did for me.

Since it is a matter of public record now, I am getting divorced. I didn't really see it coming and the circumstances under which it went down per se, wasn't the best. I am scared of what is happening, I am nervous, I am mad, I am sad, I am a full range of emotions and depending on the day, I'm not always sure how I am feeling. I have days where I don't know how I am going to do this, but it is just bread. I will get through this. I have already found a place to move into. I only wish I didn't have to wait until June 1st. I started packing. I started thinking about what is in store for me. I am preparing to spend days without my Peanut Butter. I am preparing to deal with other things that are surrounding this situation, as much as they hurt me and anger me, I have to deal with them. I have started to lean on some of my friends for support, something I may not have done before. I will be ok, I will get through this. It may just take some time, but it is just bread.

Mother's Days

2011-05-09T06:50:00.000-06:00

Peanut Butter's 4K class put on a few nursery rhyme skits for Mother's day. Peanut Butter was in Little Miss Muffet.

She was a Spider.

It was really cute. Peanut Butter was so excited for me to see it. It was all she talked about for the week leading up to it. They also made cute dish towels that said, "Mom's helping hands." and had their hand prints on them. It was a fun day.

Saturday PB and I met my Mom and had our nails done. It was pretty chaotic at the salon, but PB did pretty well patience wise. She got pink sparkle nails that she is very proud to show off.

We went and had dinner after and PB's patience had worn off and she was all over the place. My patience was wearing off too by the end of dinner, but it was a nice day with my Mom.

Mother's Day Peanut Butter gave me a big potted flowering plant. She also decided she was going to wear her princess dress all day. I had to practically force her to take a picture with me but she begrudgingly cooperated.

We went for a little walk and had some ice cream. It was a nice lazy day.

School of Hard Knocks

2011-05-05T19:10:00.001-06:00

Tuesday evening I was doing my form of extreme couponing at Walgreens when Peanut Butter begged for a toy. No, No, No, and then she asked for this:

It was $3.99 and I caved and bought it. PB thought it would be a good idea to take her new found jewels with her to school on Wednesday to show off her riches. She didn't count on someone taking them for themselves. She said she put them in her cubby and they were gone. She said she hid them by her backpack and they were gone. I picked her up today and asked her if she found her crown since Ms. Kaylee was going to look for them last night. And alas, they were gone. We looked for them a bit and then I told PB, I think someone must have taken your set. I'm sorry, but this is why I don't like you bringing stuff to school, other than show and tell. PB broke down, you would have thought it was a real tiara that her grandmother had left her. She cried and cried. She went on a tirade how Ms. Kaylee says we don't take other people's things and how the person who took her stuff needs to go to jail. I felt so bad for her, I mean she was crushed that someone had taken her crown set, that I drove over to Walgreens and bought another set. Luckily I had just been there and had 3 reward dollars, so I paid $1.24 for it.

God am I a sucker.

Getting Through it All

2011-04-30T19:28:00.000-06:00

Today I am hurting. I feel worthless. I so wanted to go out and see some friends tonight, but feared I would be a blubbering idiot and chose to stay home and have PB ask me why I am so sad. I am a whirlwind of emotions and wonder what I did to deserve this. I know life isn't fair, but man, I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. I feel trapped and don't know what to do. I fear going into work tomorrow, but don't know how many more days I can take off because of this. Maybe I need a day to go and be free for a while. I went from feeling fairly good on Friday to being crushed again today. I don't know what affect this is having on PB, but I am becoming more irritable with her and find myself with a shorter than normal temper. I never thought this would be so hard.

Happy Sunday

2011-04-17T19:29:00.000-06:00

I wish I had 10 things to be happy about this week. I could make quite a list of what is making unhappy this week. My world has been turned upside down and I have a pretty rough road ahead. I never planned to be making the decisions I will be making and I am hoping that what is happening now will not leave lasting marks. I hope I can weather the storm and come out the other side. I know I go periods of time without posting and this may be one of them, even though it is a time when I have so much to say, I am afraid I have to take it to another forum.
I am happy that I have a beautiful little girl who has no idea how much her being my snuggle bunny is going to help me. I am happy I have a Mom who is always there for me. I am happy I have a stepson who loves his sister to no end.

Happy Saturday

2011-04-02T18:27:00.000-06:00

My top ten thing to be happy about this week are:

10. The power mongers had to be told 3 times that their was a restraining order on the bill becoming law and finally got it through their heads that maybe they should stop trying to push their limits.

9. After lagging in my running I pushed myself a little on Weds and got a nice 4 miler in.

8. Aldi's had strawberries for 49 cents a package today. They are pretty ripe, but I will freeze them for smoothies.

7. Things are making much more sense on Fringe now that I caught up on the season 2 that I missed.

6. My yard is snow free!

5. Woot, I won the NCAA Bracket Challenge. Yes, I know the Championship hasn't been played, but no one had any teams left in the pool. See those first rounds do make a difference. Oh, and another thing, I am 2 time champ!

4. I got my brakes done on my car for half of what it would've cost me at the shop and found some pretty scrapbook paper while I was waiting for my car to get done.

3. Who ever does this facebook profile gives me a daily smile, sarcasm at its finest. If you like Scott Walker don't click.

2. I decided I'm going to spend a weekend in May here. I gave up my Y membership so I should have money to cover it. My Mother's Day present to myself. Some other ladies from work are going.

1. Peanut Butter had her 4K spring show this week and it was a hoot. She is one good dancer.

10 Things

2011-03-27T20:06:00.000-06:00

Kim and Kristi have started doing 10 things that made you happy this week. I would hope something good came out of every week, so lets see what is happened this past week.

10. I got back to scrapping after a short hiatus.

9. I watched about 4 episodes of Supernatural yesterday.

8. PB slept in her own bed. Don't get too excited it was only one night.

7. I actually made something new for dinner and it was pretty good. Salmon with lemon parsley asparagus and potatoes

6. PB is excited about doing a garden this year and has decided we need pumpkins too.

5. I got moving again. Though it was an extremely tough go today. My legs were lead.

4. Peeps

3. I decided if we we going to do a garden I should compost too, my container is almost full after only 2 days. I am using a 5lb protein powder canister.

2. The Boy came home from Disney World with his band and brought back PB a Rapunzel figurine set. Though I was hoping he would have bought something more Disney Worldish with the twenty I gave him, but I was surprised that he lugged the big package home for his sister. She was ecstatic.

1. Though things are stressful and depressing work/politics wise, I still have my family though they can be just as stressful themselves sometimes.

Scrappin'

2011-03-24T18:49:00.002-06:00

This past weekend I was supposed to go to Scrap for a Cure in Illinois. Unfortunately, I was not able to financially swing it since this year I have decided to focus on being better with my money. So, yes in reality I could have slapped the trip on the credit card and gone, but I didn't and a year ago I would have. There was however an online challenge to go along with the crop, so I participated in that.

Challenge 1: Was a page map challenge.

Challenge 2: Use stars, buttons, arrows and circles. (the buttons can't count as your circles.)

Challenge 3: Create a holiday event with traditional and non traditional colors. I had it in my head paper instead of color when I did this so I used tiger paper on a Halloween page.

Challenge 4: Use black and white with a splash of color, use ink and ribbon.

Challenge 5: I didn't get to this one

Challenge 6: Make a layout with pink, orange, scallops and ribbon.

Challenge 7: Use plenty of white space.

Challenge 8: Create a layout with an animal, real or stuffed.

Hello Sugar My Old Friend

2011-03-23T19:49:00.000-06:00

I was on a total stress diet for a week and a half and then bam, the sugar craving are back. I cannot seem to get enough peeps, chocolate, cookies, what have you. I have lost all self control. Maybe by putting it out there I can get a handle on it.

While I was on my stress, not want to get out of bed, so screw running or any exercise pre-spring break, I, um, didn't do anything. I started running again last week, outside, and while it is hard to get back in the motions, it has been great to be outside. I also borrowed from the library Jillians Banish the Fat Boost the Metabolism and Shred it with Weights. I've always liked BFBM it is a great cardio workout. It is about 50 min long and some how I always forget how many circuits there are until she says we have 2 more circuits til the cool down. At this point I always swear, think didn't we just do 5 circuits, and suck it up. Shred it with Weights is a whole other level of torture. It is supposed to be a kettle bell workout, but you can use a hand weight, which I do. I did level one for the first time last week. I thought this isn't so bad, I whipped through the 25 min and felt like I had worked out, but not beaten down. Well, that is until the next day, my hamstrings were so sore. I ran a day and took a day off and said lets try level two. I again whipped through that baby, except for the inverted push ups, they are killers, and thought well, that wasn't so bad. Yeah, not so bad until about 3 hours later when my quads were so sore I could barely walk down the stairs. I sat at work yesterday, hoping that the rain/sleet/ice/snow crap would let up and I could possibly get a run in, but the wind was crazy so I decided to be too and did level two again. Yes, my quads were still screaming from the day before and I had to really suck it up to get through some of it, but I did it, and cursed every time I had to go up or down stairs the rest of the night. Still sore this a.m., I think, maybe I'll take a day off, but I don't because I'm on this sugar bender and need to burn some calories so I do the 50 min of BFBM. It loosened up my muscles, but it wiped me out. Hopefully I can get a run in tomorrow, but it is pretty icy out there and even though I can go to the Y and use the treadmill, I would rather not. I am stuck in the spring fever of running is now done outside, yet Mother Nature says, not so fast, I've got more snow and ice for you. Hopefully she'll be done soon.

As Time Flies By

2011-03-14T18:10:00.001-06:00

Time has been cruising by. There has been a lot of chaos in our lives as of late. I will do a quick catch up. Peanut Butter went to one of her friend's birthday party. She had a blast bowling.

With J moving to first shift, some days are tough of PB. We have to get her up and to daycare by 5:30am they days we both work. By the time she gets home she is running on empty and in an attempt to stay awake she will try to eat us out of house and home. Sometimes sleep gets the better of her.

I decided to put my cricut to work for valentines day and made these:

And in case your are wondering, Bazzil Bling paper doesn't cut very well in the cricut. I tried to make glittery brown owls and had to settle with non glittery ones.

We are registered for Kindergarten, and for the first time, I am having doubts about sending her. I have no idea what is going to happen with public schools and with a huge cut pay cut we are taking, we cannot afford a private/parochial school. I am concerned about class size and am afraid that PB might get lost if class sizes are too big. We were going to try and send her to one of the elementary schools that was capping class size, but with the proposed budget that is being cut.

I've also decided to ~~ignore~~ start another blog. There are days I want to vent and get a little political and don't want it to disrupt my happy little Where's Jelly. If you care to read my "leftie whining" you can catch me over here.

Disney on Ice

2011-02-20T13:27:00.002-06:00

I know, I know, it has been awhile. I keep meaning to post, haven't, and then our lives get more chaotic, but that is another post. I took a break from our chaos and took Peanut Butter to Disney on Ice. She loved Princesses on Ice last year so when I got an email last October I jumped on the $10 tickets for opening night. Peanut Butter and I arrived at the Resch Center in Green Bay and any other money I had was instantly drained, a $12 sno-cone in a flounder cup, $7 box of popcorn and a $3 soda.
I think the girl had fun:

They did Lion King

Little Mermaid

Lilo and Stitch

And Peter Pan

Peanut Butter had fun it was a decent show, Peter Pan seemed to drag, maybe because I'm not as familiar with the songs and such. And we couldn't leave without a $14 dollar photo with Flounder and Sebastian.

Social Butterfly

2011-01-28T20:52:00.000-06:00

My friends, if there are any out there, I am a home body. J is out at a bowling tournament for work and was begging me to go, but I just don't want to hang out with drunk people from work. Yes, I was one of those drunk people from work back in the day, but I cannot do it anymore. I would rather sit here on the computer or finishing up season 3 of Supernatural up in my scrapbook room making cards from Operation Write Home. J is a social butterfly as well as Peanut Butter. I on the other hand struggle with small talk and would rather stick hot pokers in my eyes sometimes. Once I get to know someone it is all well and good, I can find a common ground to talk, but the whole initial conversation thing kills me, which is probably why I was that drunk coworker, just be able to talk. J gets upset when I don't want to do the bar scene anymore, and has told me people think I'm antisocial, well, that may be, and honestly when I want me time away from being a mom, I would rather spend it by myself in silence sometimes. I don't want to have to drink a six pack to be able to talk. I do wish there were other social outlets for me to get over my insecurities, but I guess one would need to make friends to be able to do that, which requires that dreaded small talk. I don't know, I guess I'll just be the quiet antisocial one.

I've Gone Cuckoo

2011-01-25T19:57:00.000-06:00

As I am "focusing" on my running and getting to the point I would no longer be considered to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser, I get talked in to craziness. A friend of mine at work, with whom I discuss working out and such, said, "Hey would you be interested in doing this obstacle course run with me and another co-worker?" I said, yeah why not. Um yeah, I haven't signed up yet, and the time slot that they are running in is full so I'd be on my own doing the Warrior Dash. If this wasn't enough, they want to do the Madison Mud Run, which is 5 miles of hell in May. I have yet to run 5 miles, let alone through an obstacle course, but I for see it happening before May, since I am going to have to do this bad boy. I did do 4.68 miles Monday, but I probably walked about half a mile of that cooling down. But I did it in 55 min so, I should be able to get in before the 2.5 hour cut off. The only thing is, the other two want to run together and help each other through, but I have this feeling that once the thing starts, my competitiveness may take over and I'll want to go, go, go.

Word Up

2011-01-12T21:17:00.002-06:00

Over at Mom's Sippy Cup the idea of summing up what you want 2011 to be or what you want to focus on in one word. I have thought long and hard over this and mulled over quite a few words none quite working. I then decided on "focus." I need to focus on what is important to me. I need to focus on cleaning things up in my life. I need to focus on getting better with money, I need to focus on long term vs. short term. Yes, this is a cute shirt for PB, but that $10 should be put to better use or saved for the list of big items I want but have nickeled and dimed them out of my hands like a Wii or a trip to Disney for PB. I need to focus on less is more for a bit. Though folks I am going on a trip with my Mom, that is happening no ifs, ands, or buts. Hopefully my tax return will cover that.

I need to focus on keeping up with trying to "eat less, move more" as Cathy Z is continuing this year. I am going to try like her to document it and keep myself focus on the end game. I also want to focus on improving my running. I had a rough holiday season since I got sick right after Christmas and hadn't run in over a week, but I got on the treadmill and did three miles. Yes, I had to stop to blow my nose a couple times, but I ran much better than I had expected and may actually be getting used to the torture device called the treadmill. I am focused on getting back out on the streets weather permitting and I am hoping to focus on a 10k this year or do part of a marathon relay in my hometown. I also need to focus on not snacking the entire time I sit in what I have dubbed my crack den, my scrapbook room, where I stash good chocolate and m&ms and then hide away as I devour the stuff as I attempt to get something done.

I need to focus on me. I need to let go sometimes. I get so frustrated and pissed off very quickly sometimes and just blow up. I need to focus and take a breath and move forward instead of flying off the handle, but this is easier said than done. I need to focus on whether or not I should take some classes. I would really like to have a different job, however, after doing what I do for 15 years it doesn't build any real skills. I have been flopping back and forth what I should do and with a new governor in charge who wants to break our union and cut wages, well, I'm thinking I might have to do something.

I need to focus on my marriage. We had a pretty tough twenty-ten. I really want to work to get back what we started. We need to focus on some us time. We need to find something we enjoy together to do.

I need to focus on PB and make sure I'm raising a healthy, smart, good, confident girl.

I'm sure there are more things I need to focus on, but that is what I'm working on right now.

December is Moving Way Too Fast

2010-12-18T20:20:00.001-06:00

This month is moving way too fast. I cannot believe Christmas is going to be here next week already. We have been pretty busy with life in general and add the approaching Holidays and my stress level has risen while my bank account is depleting very quickly. I have gotten some super deals and PB is getting a few things I hadn't planned on because of that. I just have to remember for the next week that she is finished no more, no matter what the deal. That being said here's what we've been up to.

I did an ornament swap and got these gems. Love 'em.

Peanut Butter had to decorate a Christmas Tree for school, she couldn't wait and had to color in the car on our way to one of the Boy's basketball games.

We caught the Holiday parade.

We baked cookies. I have never baked so many cookies for Christmas before. I have never seen cookies get eaten so fast in this house. I must be doing something right or it is all the extra sprinkles PB adds.

I just have a few more things to get and get this disaster of a house cleaned up and then we just have to wait for Santa.

Still Alive

2010-11-29T20:14:00.001-06:00

Yes, I am still alive and Peanut Butter also survived the week of deer hunting. It was a very long week of having J gone. I did catch the new Harry Potter movie, it was good, but I think I was so worried about where they were going to end it I didn't just watch and enjoy. I may have to see it again. PB and I also saw Megamind. It was ok. Good story, but it wasn't the best movie. PB is gearing up for Tangled one of these days. I also switched The Boy's room with PB's room and repainted both. The Boy's original room was disgusting. There must have been and inch of dust everywhere and a bagillion candy wrappers under the bed since that is an easier place to put them rather than the garbage can. I also realized that we do not need anymore stuffed animals. This is the crazy amount we had.

I narrowed it down to one basket, but then filled another with all of PB's babies.

PB has been doing really well in school. She is so proud of the things she is learning. She is showing us how she writes her name and practices and practices. She cuts all the paper she can get her hands on with scissors so our living room floor looks like a confetti pile. She is getting very attentive with her coloring, stating, "I no scribble, see!" It takes her a long time to color this way and I don't think she is finishing some projects at school because she is so worried about coloring "nice." Here she is practicing some of her letters with Nana.

I was honored to be mentioned in Nicole's post on Mom's Sippy Cup the other day. It was a great post on deciding to put your mind to doing something and just doing it. I really miss Nicole blogging so it was great to read her in blog form again. I hope it gets her to start one again. It also got me thinking what I need to do now. I really would like to finish my degree at some point in my life. I don't know if I will ever use it for anything, but just to say I have one would be sweet. I am starting to look at some options. I am also lining up another race to run. I'd like to do this New Year's Day race, but it is 5 miles. I know, I know, I can do five miles if I put my mind to it. I have already run 4.5 miles, so I just have to make it work. If I put down the money for it, I will have to.

Tis The Season.

2010-11-17T19:13:00.000-06:00

Deer hunting that is. J is getting ready to leave tomorrow and will be gone until next Saturday. Hopefully Peanut Butter and I make it through the week plus with out killing each other. I am on vacation for most of the time, so we will have plenty of quality time. She is going to daycare on Friday so I can go see Harry Potter. I can't wait. I am contemplating switching PB's and the Boy's room, but haven't decided how gung ho I am about repainting both rooms.
I have decided to do an ornament swap though, if you want to join in you can sign up until Nov 20th.

I Did It

2010-11-13T13:48:00.000-06:00

I officially ran my first 5K this am. I also ran it pushing Peanut Butter in the jogger. I am cuckoo. Oh and did I mention that it poured during the race. Double trouble. Amazingly, PB stayed in good spirits and I ran the whole thing with out killing anyone with the stroller, though I bumped a girl who stopped right in front of me. I have to admit it was extremely emotional for me for some odd reason. Someone yelled at me, "Go Mom, your doing great!" and I started to well up. I don't know if it is because I have actually accomplished something or what. I will say it is very hard to run a race with a stroller or at least this one was. It was the Girls on the Run 5K which supports getting girls running in 5-6th grade to boost confidence and esteem, so there was a couple hundred tween girls that I was trying to maneuver around and since the 5 of us with strollers started dead last, we had to get through quite a few people to get going. It was fun and heck, I might have to try another one preferably on a day that isn't rainy.

Ready to Race?

2010-11-05T19:10:00.001-06:00

I have finally reached my lowest weight since college. I still would like to lose quite a bit more, but I know this is the point at which I have the hardest time breaking through. It is nice fitting in to smaller clothes though. I have actually run enough that the capris I run in are practically falling off when I run. I can't believe I am saying I run. I do, I run at least 3 times a week. I never thought I would say I can run three miles, but I can. I can actually even run 4 miles. I have started kicking around doing a 5k or maybe a 10k when I get that mileage on a consistent basis. I don't know what has got me even thinking about it. I don't run very fast, but I am getting this urge to prove that I really run, like a race is some kind of proof maybe. Will running a race do this for me? I don't know.

I am getting bored with some of the music I run to though. If anyone has some tunes that get them moving and want to share let me know. I listen to just about anything.

Halloween Part 2

2010-11-02T10:23:00.001-06:00

Peanut Butter and i had picked up some ghost muffin tins at Target last weekend and after I finished making carrot muffins that looked like ghosts, PB declared she was taking them to school. I had to break it to her that I didn't have enough ghosts for her class, but I would make another batch for her school Halloween party that they were having on Wednesday. She was ok with that. I looked all over our town for something like the ghost tins, but couldn't find anything, so I bought black muffin cups and made mummy muffins. Meanwhile she also decided that the costume I spent all of last week making was going to be scrapped so that she could wear the fairy costume. I was crushed, but she does make quite the fairy princess.

She had a great time at her party and apparently the mummy muffins were a big hit, even though PB threw hers away because she doesn't like frosting, which seriously makes me wonder if she is indeed my child.

I was beginning to think she was Halloweened out by the end of the week because she wasn't talking about trick or treating or anything Halloween until we carved up the pumpkins. PB wanted a princess so I carved her Ariel. I also did a spider and a "mean" face as PB calls it.

By Sunday she was begging to go trick or treating and wore the costume I made for her. She did decide that she was going to make it impossible for me to take any pictures of her...

I did manage to catch a few.

She was excited on the trick or treat trail until she saw one of her friends from school and they went the other direction than us and she decided she had to go potty and wanted to go home. After we got home she didn't want to go potty, but Daddy took her down a couple more blocks.

She came back and was all about handing out the candy. She was beginning to look like an air traffic controller trying to get the kids to descend upon our house for candy.

All in all a pretty fun Halloween.

Halloween Preview

2010-10-23T19:50:00.001-06:00

We did the pumpkin patch earlier this month. We also happened to be in the middle of a heat wave, it had to have been 80 degrees that day, but we made it through.

Peanut Butter liked peeking at the chicks.

She is this tall this fall.

I don't know if this kid had a thing for PB or what but he seemed to follow her around and kept trying to talk with her.

A hayride with Daddy.

And some pumpkins were picked out for carving much later in the month.

Peanut Butter decided after seeing How to Train Your Dragon a few weeks ago that she wanted to be Astrid from the movie for Halloween. I got my craftiness together and after fighting with my sewing machine and borrowing another here's how it turned out. Friends of ours' neighborhood does trick or treating the weekend before so, went out with them today.

In case you want to know what Astrid looks like:

A Getaway

2010-10-23T19:31:00.001-06:00

J and I went to Indiana last weekend for our annual Notre Dame game. This year we went with another couple which was fun, but different. The fellas planned a spa day for us ladies and I had a stone massage. It was pure heaven. My legs were sore from running and the hot of the stones was pure bliss. I also had a mani and pedi, but they were forgettable. My mani smeared right away, but Peanut Butter loved the glittery magenta color I picked out when she saw it.
The weather was fantastic! A wonderful fall day.

It was funny as many times as we have been through the campus, I saw a few new things. I had never noticed this guy holding a shamrock in the chapel ceiling.

J and I really needed to getaway for a couple days, it was nice not having anyone say "Mama?" for 3 days.

And we actually got to see our first win. Touchdown Jesus was in the house.

A Sweep Through September

2010-09-27T13:14:00.001-06:00

I have been very bad in posting as of late, so prepare yourself for a run down of September.

Peanut Butter started school.

She is going to 4K. It is two and a half hours in the afternoon, it is run through the school district, and our daycare is one of the sites that hold it. She gets to keep a lot of her daycare friends and seems to enjoy it. She was especially excited when I got her a Princess backpack. I was especially excited because I got it on clearance at Target for $2.50.

My Mom got tickets from her friends to a Brewer game; Peanut Butter and I were more than happy to attend with her. Suprisingly, The Boy did not, even thought it was against the Cubs. Too bad for him since we had great seats. It was one of the quickest games I have been too, but the Brew Crew lost.

My Mom's birthday was also in September and she stopped over so we could take her to dinner. As I was getting PB ready, she asked if I cut her hair recently. I said no. Then as I was brushing PB's hair I noticed pieces cut out of the sides, when I asked her if she cut her hair, she went into full tantrum mode and I was worried we would not be able to step foot in the restaurant. PB calmed down after a bit and later admitted to me that she did indeed cut her hair while her brother was playing playstation in his room not watching her. It wasn't extremely noticeable so I let it go for a while.

But this past Friday night I decided it needed evened out and I was going to do it. Peanut Butter will sit perfect for the ladies who cut her hair, for me nope. It ended up a wee bit shorter than I had hoped, but it is growing on me,

The Boy's Mom got married this past weekend. They had a very informal reception at a park, the only bad thing was it was freezing out. PB didn't seem to care, she played like nobody's business.

Jackie vs Jillian vs J

2010-09-20T15:07:00.000-06:00

I am still on my quest to drop the pounds. I have hit a plateau and it is really hard not to be pissed that my husband J is dropping it in 5-10 pound increments. I know I can't compare to him, but man it just seems so easy for him and he's still eating a lot. I have been for the most part really keeping track of calories thinking maybe I was eating too many, but I am around 1600 for a day and burning 600 of those at least 4 times a week plus 2 days of video workouts. Hopefully something happens soon.I do know I am back to fitting in all of my lowest weight clothes, except for a pair of work pants.

Anyway, I am now really liking Jackie Warner, I caught a few episodes of Workout, they were airing on Bravo to gear up for her new show Thintervention, which is pretty good. I found a dvd of hers pretty cheap called Power Circuit Training. I really like this one. It gives four, fifteen minute targeted(abs, lower body, upper body, and full body), or a full forty minute workout. I did the 15 min full body one the day I got it in the evening of one of my off days since I was feeling guilty about not having exercised, it was easy to get through and I though well we'll see. I actually was sore the next day and thought hmmm, I've been doing a few of these moves on The Shred and haven't felt like this. I did the 40 min workout and pretty much breezed through upper and lower body, but had a hard time with the upper abs. Yeah, I could barely walk the next day, my glutes were so sore it hurt to sit down. This DVD is a keeper. It is easy to get through, the moves are not that hard, but when I can feel it 2-3 days after yet, it must be working. Jackie is a nice change of pace from Jillian since she is much more hmmm how do I put it, nice? encouraging? I love Jillian, but sometimes she irritates me. Knowing they both started a gym together, I see the similarities in their work outs and they both must have used the same sets for their videos and just moved equipment around.

I have been struggling with the running. I am making myself run at least 3 miles, but I have been running them at a slower pace than I when I was alternating running and walking. I don't know, but it took me for-evah to get to 3 miles and J is just cruising along after a month, I hate him. I am hitting 4 miles now and then and should really be happy with that and keep on keeping on and not get upset about J. A friend of mine posted this on facebook and I'm just going to think about that when I'm running.

4

2010-08-31T19:21:00.000-06:00

Peanut Butter turned 4 this past week. I can't believe how time flies. 4K is right around the corner. We had a party at the park, besides the annoying bees and the heat it was a pretty good time. PB received some very nice gifts. She has been playing with play dough and wooden "paper" dolls with a fever. I gave her a play tent on her birthday and she managed to snap one of the poles in less than 2 days. I am going to call to see if I can get a replacement. I bought her a new Tiana dress since the blue one she has is hanging by a thread.

I think she was pretty happy about it, but she hasn't really worn it much. I'm sure it will get it's use. She has been in a dress phase as of late. Everyday she has to wear a dress. I'm glad I found a couple at rummage sales to tide us through the rest of the summer.

I Believe it is Official

2010-08-26T13:00:00.000-06:00

This morning it was beautiful out, I wished I could run outside as I was putting Peanut Butter in the car to go to the Y. I didn't have any goal going into today's run, just to put in 40 min. If I had gone with J, I would have gone longer, but I just wanted to get three miles in and get on with the day. I have started to cover the treadmill read out so I am not constantly reading it and telling myself I can walk for a minute at X excuse. Today I just ran, I peeked a couple times to see where I was at. I said to myself when I get to two miles, I'll give myself a break, but I didn't. I said when I get to 30 min I will give myself a break, but I didn't. I said to myself you will run the 35 min and you will run 3 miles, even if you have to run it at 5 miles an hour. I range between 5-6 miles an hour. I ran my 3 miles and I had not run a full 3 miles until today. I told myself when you can run 3 miles without a walk break you can say you run and mean it. So, today it is official, I RUN. Next goal 5 miles.

The Monster I Created

2010-08-17T14:55:00.000-06:00

My hubs finally noticed that all the exercising that I have been doing is starting to pay off and the fact that I told him his face was getting a little round and decided now that baseball is over he is going to work out with me at the Y. I started him on the treadmill and right off the back he is jogging for a good amount of time. I start to get a wee bit jealous since it had taken me forever to run 2+ miles. He then made me go everyday for about a week straight. I am used to every other day, doing a video on the other days. I started to hate the effing treadmill and it was only a week. J, on the other hand, was like I burned another 1000 calories today. It is his mission to burn as close to a 1000 calories every time he goes. I told him he should really take an off day since the body needs to recover and he adamantly said he can't do that because he just won't keep going then. He did take Saturday off since he worked overtime. Now I feel I have to compete with him on the treadmill, I have upped my time on the dang thing to 45-50 min, whereas he says on for an hour plus. I have upped my mileage in that time to four miles instead of 3-3.5 miles, which is faster than what he does. I would much prefer to run outside, but I refuse to run with the jogger anymore, the Y has child care, even though it is crap hours for our schedule, and it has been smoking hot and humid here. This week I tried to return to my schedule of doing things, yesterday I did a work out off of the Insanity set. O-M-G! I did one about a week and a half ago and that about killed me, at the end I was really struggling to get even a few moves in on the last circuits. I tried a different one yesterday and my calves and shoulders were killing me this morning. I was rubber when all was said and done, it was like the shred on speed with no weights. I had to laugh because there is one part in the workout I did yesterday where they show a full view of every one working out and you can see another camera doing a zoom in on one of the girls who is just dying and she pushes it away. I need to get this set of dvds. I borrowed the set I have now from a friend at work, but she burned them and they skip a bit and I would rather pay to not have it skip and get the full work out. So I am trolling ebay for a deal even if I have to do it disk by disk. I scored one today. The only thing that stinks is J lost 10 pounds last week and I gained 2. WTF.

Results

2010-08-02T19:27:00.002-06:00

I have officially lost 10 pounds since June. Woot! I have been alternating 3 mile run days with an exercise video on opposite days, and one free/off day. I think I actually have started to get my vicious sweet tooth under control and I am seeing results. I have even lost at least an inch around my waist since I have gone up a notch on my work belt. I admit I have been struggling on off days with doing the Shred. I am actually sick of doing it, maybe because I talk the whole workout to myself, because "this is you time baby, make the most of it." I have been searching for a replacement until her new Shred It With Weights comes out and at the library I found Jillian's Banish the Fat, Boost the Metabolism, and let me tell you, wow. This one is a toughie and for people who don't like Jillian screaming at them, she is pretty tame in this one, relaxed almost. She does say some of her patented lines throughout, but I think I will be doing this one for a bit. It is 7 circuits, a lot of cardio, and is 40+ min. It says 40 on the box, but with warm up and cool down it is around 50 min. If you want to work your abs, this is a good one. My core was so sore 2 days after. I am hoping to find some other ones to prevent the boredom of one DVD all the time and this one doesn't do a whole lot of weights, which I need more of.

My Summer Vay-Cay Sort Of

2010-07-27T17:28:00.002-06:00

As you may know our summer is chock full of baseball.

The boy's team did really well and took first place in their conference. They went 15-2. The all-star team is doing ok. They had a rough weekend in La Crosse, every team they played seemed to have one good hitting inning and killed our momentum. Their last tournament is this weekend.

While we were in La Crosse we took in a Logger game. Peanut Butter found a new friend.

She thought the Logger Dog was Scooby Doo, we tried to explain to her who he was, but just ened up saying he was Scooby's brother Logger Doo.

We stayed for the fireworks, usually PB isn't too hot on them, but she covered her ears and really enjoyed them.

Last weekend I went to Hurley because we were having a high school softball reunion. It was a good time. It was nice to see some people I hadn't seen in a long time. Peanut Butter was snapping pictures throughout the hall of fame induction. It was the only thing that would keep her busy.

A self portrait.

She got to throw candy during the parade and had a lot of fun. Of course I forgot my camera for that. I will say that riding by myself with Miss PB for 4+ hours is a very long ride.

It's all about me, me, me.

2010-07-10T20:02:00.000-06:00

Yep, that's me sometime in the beginning part of June. I have been having huge body issues, probably because I have huge body issues. I have been working to loose weight since Peanut Butter was born. I did extremely well in the beginning probably losing around 60 or so pounds and then I hit the plateau and then I creeped back upward. I did this while exercising and felt like I was banging my head against the wall when I wasn't getting anywhere. A friend at work and I discuss what workouts we do and such and I was telling her what I do and she said why aren't you losing a ton of weight and then I said it. "I eat through every calorie I burn." She said she looks at the treadmill and how many calories she burns and says, I am not eating anything that will destroy what work I just did. I mulled this over for a few days, along with her asking me if I wanted to do a 5k, and thought, "crap, I really need to put my priorities in order here. I cannot keep eating a box of milk duds because I did the Shred today. I cannot be pissed that I am not losing any weight when I am not changing more of my bad habits."

I have really been working on my eating habits. I have been trying to be very portion conscious and have been trying to eat more protein and fiber. Apples and real peanut butter are now my milk duds and cookies. It also helps that I have been short on cash and cannot afford to buy the crap. I have really been working on my running. I used to have the mind set, just get me through this mile and I'll be good. I now hate when I walk at a mile. I have basically given up trying to run with the jogger too. It has become way to hard with PB because one, she weighs a lot more than last year, and two, she won't sit so I am constantly stopping to let her out or back in. This has limited my options to running when J is home or the Y has child care. It was very different for me to actually run with out the jogger and I was surprised at how much the interval training on the treadmill has given my endurance a kick in the hinder. I have also been putting more into the Shred actually focusing on the moves instead of trying to get through the sucker. I comment to J that I was starting to get some guns and he laughed. Sigh, what can I do.

Today I was on the treadmill and it sucked, I couldn't get a speed, I was way to worried about time and miles and why the close caption wasn't working. I did get 3 miles in in 36 min, running and walking, which is my PR right now, but I wasn't happy with it. I ended up walking another 10 min since I had to see if USA hockey would beat Russia in the Lake Placid Olympics. And then cleaned up my machine sobbing because they did. Yes, I had seen Miracle before, but it always gets me. So anyway, I wanted to get something out of my trip to the Y, so I went and weighed myself and did a little dance when I got off the scale. It is moving, and moving in the right direction. Maybe if the closed caption had been working when this speech was on I would have done better, but now I will just have to remember it is my time now.

I have also been trying to work on J, but he came home the other day with a huge store brand bag of sugar smacks trying to explain the healthiness of the 11 added vitamins and minerals, yet getting pissy when I read the first three ingredients: sugar, wheat, corn syrup. Sigh, it is going to take a lot.

In The Summer

2010-07-04T20:29:00.001-06:00

Well, I'm back. I haven't felt much like blogging as of late. We seem to be on the go quite a bit so sitting down to do an actual post has been tough. Peanut Butter has also discovered the wonderful games of Sesame Street online and has taken over the computer. I have also been scrapbooking in my free time rather than sit online, which is why one day you may get a bunch of comments from me as I catch up now and then. The ease and accessibility of facebook has been my main way of keeping up. If I could blog from my cell phone, I probably would post more, since there are hours I sit at ballparks doing nothing waiting for the games to start. Speaking of which.....

We've been watching a lot of baseball. I have actually been able to watch games since PB has been pretty good as far as staying close and playing with other kids.

This also means I have been getting a lot of sun and am full of freckles. I always think my face is dirty when I look in the mirror, but it isn't just freckles. I have been trying to be better with the sun screen and haven't been sun burnt very bad yet this summer which is a record I think.

Peanut Butter is trying to set the record for most days in a row that a princess dress has been worn.

The Tiana dress has taken a beating this summer and is almost ready for retirement. PB has asked for me to make her a new one. I am deciding what/how I am going to do that. Target is seeming like a better option.

Well, enough for now, I will catch up some more tomorrow hopefully. PB needs to get to bed.

BTW I am still figuring out sizing for photos through Photobucket, bear with me.

PhotoStory Friday: Playing in the Rain

2010-06-11T20:08:00.001-06:00

Hosted by Cecily and Lolli
Yeah, it has been a while....

The other day, Peanut Butter came tearing through the house trying to put a shirt on and said, "Mama, I need my shirt on so I can play in the rain. I helped her get the shirt on and wondered what was up since Peanut Butter is not a fan of the rain. She ran through the house to one of the piles of shoes we have and zoomed back through and out the door.

Do you like her choice in footwear? Yep, moon boots, in addition to riding boots, apparently make outstanding wellies too. I never give in to buying the wellies because she hates to be out in the rain.

Maybe I should rethink that.

Still Alive and Our Camping Excursion

2010-06-05T07:42:00.000-06:00

I am still alive, I haven't found myself wanting to sit at the computer for very long lately. I have been watching a Veronca Mars marathon in my scrapbook room. I started a couple weeks ago, even though I have seen the dvds a few times I kept wanting to know what happened. As a result I spent my evenings somewhat scrapping and watching my girl. I am now debating season three or to start a different series. I had Breaking Bad out from the library, but couldn't break away from VM and had to return it since someone placed a hold and I couldn't renew it. I have however finished a few pages I never would have and have realized I really need a trip to the scrapbook store for some new paper, though I always can use that, but for real this time and that I have a new addiction to milk duds.

The Lost Finale happened since I last posted and I was very satisfied. I must be one of the few who didn't need everything spelled out for me in the end. A lot of the Facebook posts on the Lost page were negative, but I didn't get why they didn't like it.

We did a little camping over Memorial Day weekend, it went surprisingly well. One of our friend's parents are the park hosts at the campground we stayed at. I usually am one that needs to shower everyday, but I made due. I am even considering camping when I have to go back up there in July, because I am cheap, but we'll see. So here's some photos:

Peanut Butter yelling for her brother to wait up.

I was surprised how well Peanut Butter did in the water. At swim lessons she is sometimes apprehensive about getting in the water. I don't know if being able to touch the bottom made the difference, but she did really well. She didn't exactly swim, even when I tried to help her too, but she'd walk up to her neck.

Our friend's brother brought his two kids out on Saturday, so Peanut Butter had someone to play with. Our friend's mom also has more toys at the camper than I think PB has all together. Here she is playing doctor, making her patient lay on the picnic table.

She also got her play her favorite, Tea Party. I now have an idea what to get her for her birthday.

A little ride on the 4 wheeler with our friend's Mom. It was also the ATV rally in Hurley that weekend. They missed the world record for the most ATVs in a parade by 100 at 1532. I saw a UTV with a kid carrier like you would use behind a peddle bike, only made of plastic it was crazy.

Peanut Butter had a pretty good weekend, she came away with some bumps and bruises, but seemed to have a great time. That is until the car ride home, after sleeping the first hour, she fought with her brother, made us take 2 potty stops in which she did not have to go potty, and wasn't happy until about 3 hours into the 4 and a half hour ride and then fell asleep 30 miles from home.

Ducks on the Pond

2010-05-21T15:56:00.001-06:00

We have had this couple of ducks showing up in our back yard the last couple days. Peanut Butter scares them off in her attempts to pet them, but they show up again the next day. We'll see how long they keep coming back.

I am starting to feel a little better, I still have some congestion, but at least I can breathe most of the day. I have been trying to get some running in and I notice when I stop I still have a lot of coughing from congestion in my chest. I have also noticed that PB weighs much more than she did last year. It is getting really hard to push and run with her in the jogging stroller. It stinks, since getting a run or a walk in without having to use a treadmill is hard and since it is nice out, I hate to go to the gym. I also almost got myself finagled in to a 5K next weekend, until I realized it was next weekend. After I inquired one of my friends about one, I realized that he was talking about next weekend and told him I think it is out. He seems to think I can be able to run 3.1 miles by next week, when I can barely run a mile and a half now. Hmmmm. I also did Last Chance legs and arms yesterday. Ouch, I am feeling the legs today.

Peanut Butter was rummaging in her closet and found a jacket my Mom had bought for her at Christmas. I was a 5T so I had put it in the "grow into" box. She discovered it and decided she only needed to wear her unders and the jacket. I did get her to put on some shorts so she could go outside, but it was close to the 80 degrees out, I am amazed she didn't melt.

It is a Princess jacket to go with her Princess bike. She didn't feel the need to put shoes on either, Though she did have the complete outfit with Princess crocs earlier in the afternoon.

All I could think of when I saw this shot was, "It's one of the Pink Ladies from Grease." She was pretty happy with the jacket and wore it to the Y when we went for swim lessons. The bad thing was she started taking it off in the hallway outside the locker rooms and she didn't have anything on underneath.

Speaking of swim lessons. PB seems to enjoy them, but doesn't seem real comfortable in the water. It is like she is trying to walk in the water instead of being flat in swimming position. We have 2 more weeks and then a break until fall. I thought about putting her in soccer for a 5 week session. She loves to kick the ball around, but J isn't as enthusiastic about it as I am. He doesn't like soccer and I frankly think it is boring to watch, but she seems to get a "kick" out of it and is actually pretty good at kicking the ball and running with it. I figure it can't hurt. The bad thing is, it is on Thursdays and The Boy plays baseball most Thursday nights, though when J makes the move to first shift, I won't have to worry about getting him anywhere.

The Neverending Cold

2010-05-16T19:38:00.000-06:00

It has been a long week here. I have been sick since last Tuesday. I had flu like symptoms on Tues and since then I have had a horrible cold. I would like to be able to breathe in some normal capacity some day soon. I am even dying to do some sort of physically activity if only my nose wouldn't start running at the start and the fact that I now am winded just by running up the stairs just isn't cutting it. I now think I have a sinus infection and the beginning of bronchitis or something in the chest. I cannot take this much longer. I am hoping I can get in the with the doctor tomorrow and get to the bottom of this.

The regular Little League season starts tomorrow, which means PB will be draining my already dwindling funds at the concession stand on a regular basis. At least I won't have to cook supper tomorrow. Hopefully I feel somewhat better tomorrow so I can at least get the stroller out and attempt to run a couple blocks.

And So Are the Days

2010-05-12T12:35:00.000-06:00

Baseball season has begun, it just hasn't been baseball weather. Saturday was horrible rain, sleet, wind, yuk. Peanut Butter and I sat in the car for most of the game. Monday night it didn't seem to be anything other than cool when I left the house with my light fleece, but when we got to the field it was so windy and I was freezing. I stuck it out for the whole game, but after I got home my nose started running and I was still feeling cold. I was sick then yesterday and though I'm feeling better today, a nap would be nice, along with not being stuffy. I am just happy my clothes don't make my skin hurt today and my stomach cramps are gone.

I am hoping the weather starts to warm up sometime soon since we are supposed to go camping at the end of the month. It has been cold and rainy here and I usually don't mind cool, but this is cold. I'm glad I didn't get a bigger bug to plant more plants than I did.

Peanut Butter hasn't really been one to fixate on a item of clothing, even with the Princess and the Frog, but I bought her a Jessie(Toy Story) shirt from Old Navy and she screamed when I tried to changed her into pjs, I had to talk her down and let her know I had to wash it and she could wear it again.

Peanut Butter is also getting a wee bit better about sleeping in her bed. She has been starting to fall alseep in her bed and make it until about 3-4am before she crawls in our bed. This has been very nice. She has been asking for a new/different nightlight, since she says she is scared. Maybe once I get one she'll sleep the whole night.

As Lost is coming to and end, I am more confused than ever. None of my questions were answered last night, I only came away with more questions. Maybe this show is too deep for me.

This, That, and Mother's Day.

2010-05-10T16:20:00.000-06:00

Peanut Butter and I met my Mom in the Dells Saturday night for dinner. It was a very nice time. PB was pure entertainment at most times. Nana brought her a princess coloring set that had 80 pictures to color and PB thought she had to color all 80 that night.

She wouldn't even eat ice cream because she was so intent on finishing up, alas she had to color a few the next morning. I was scheduled to work on Mother's Day, but Peanut Butter woke up crying at 12:30 am about wetting the bed. I felt her pants and said no you didn't, she insisted I look and there was a lovely pile of throw up on her bed. I changed her, J washed her hair which was nasty, and I cleaned up her bed. We then cuddled up for about and hour when she had to throw up again. After this happening every hour and having to change the sheets on our bed 3 times by 3:30 am, I called in and took the day. There was no way I'd have been functional for 8 hr after no sleep. Between 7-9am we actually got some real sleep in. I showered and cleaned PB up and took her to urgent care. She seemed cured the minute we walked in, and an hour and a half later the Dr though so too. After a quick afternoon, we went out for dinner and it was delish. PB ate so much bread before our meal came, she only ate 2 bites of her pizza.

After much debate, J is planning on coming to first shift. We lose someone having weekends off, and to keep child care down, we would have to be in opposite days off, but I think it will be a good change. Things, especially in the baseball months, are crazy here and with J never knowing what his hours are going to be day to day it sucks to plan anything. With the earliest of him being home at 6pm, he usually has to run out the door for baseball. First shift would at least give us some time in the afternoon. We will have to find someone to watch PB on occasional weekends, but The Boy will probably watch her most of those.

When The Weather is Nice

2010-05-03T12:18:00.001-06:00

I had a pretty good weekend. I got some plants in the ground around the house. I'm still debating what I'm going to do garden wise if anything. J was supposed to clean up his woodpile mess from behind the garage, but that hasn't happened yet. I may just try a couple of containers again. I planted some strawberries yesterday, we'll have to see how they do. I even mowed the ~~dandelion field~~ lawn, though you couldn't tell today.

Peanut Butter has been getting a lot of vitamin D this weekend. We were outside quite a bit, J had a brat fry for baseball on Saturday. Then some of The Boy's friends came over and were playing baseball in the back yard. PB ran around with them, I was surprised she didn't just fall asleep when she walked in the door. She did put up a fight at bedtime and fell asleep crying, but woke up around 1am and wanted to brush her teeth and have a bedtime story. I don't think she realized it was 1am. She did manage to sleep in her bed all night, huge plus. Yesterday we stopped over at a friends house, her boy is in PB's "class" at daycare. They ran around and had a good time. Surprisingly, she stayed up pretty late and again wouldn't go to bed, so she ended up falling asleep with Daddy in the chair, but she slept in her bed til 4:30 am., Maybe we are on a roll now.

I even got some scrapbooking done in honor of National Scrapbooking Day. I was running out of newer photos to scrap and did a few from a couple years ago. A few I had been meaning to do for a long time but it took a challenge on Scrapjazz to get 'em done. I thought I was out of ink in my photo printer, but I shook up the cartridges and squeezed some more photos out of them to do. I have been enjoying late afternoon scrapping.

I also went on a cookie bender this weekend. I made it a month without them and to celebrate I whipped up a double batch of oatmeal chocolate chip ones. I did manage to get the shred done everyday that I was off. Shreadheads challenge this month is to exercise in someway every day for the month of May, so I'm going to give it a whirl. I asked PB to pick which level I should do to day and she picked two. After doing three for the last few days, I though, this will be easy. Um no, I think two might actually be harder for me than three.

Photo Story Friday: Coloring

2010-04-29T17:29:00.000-06:00

Hosted by Cecilyand Caitlin

Coloring has been one of Peanut Butter's favorite activities as of late. She doesn't stay in the lines yet or use different colors on a picture. She likes to color the whole picture one color. She also likes to think she wants you to color with her too, until you start coloring, and she then colors over everything that you colored. Our dog has even gotten into coloring. He seems to enjoy eating crayons that get left on the floor and leaves colored masterpieces out in the yard to be picked up. I haven't figured out what makes the crayons a tasty treat yet.

My Little Piece of Heaven

2010-04-28T19:27:00.001-06:00

I went and got my haircut today. I know I have mentioned it, but I love getting my hair cut. I go to an Aveda salon and it is my little piece of heaven. My stylist gives the best scalp massage, seriously, I would pay just for that alone. I find it so relaxing to get a cut and a blow out. I feel a little weird not holding a conversation with the stylist, but this is my 30 min of complete silence, no one yelling for Mama. I decided to go for a little bit of a new look today so this is what I got....

I need a little make up or something, but I think this is close to the shortest I have ever been with the longest bangs, not including high school when they were 6 inches off my scalp.

I am starting to crack under the no cookies policy. I may have to bake some tomorrow, since I have to bake brownies for J to take to work on Friday. We were watching biggest loser last night and I told him, I should be on that show, like a good husband he said, "you are not that big" to which I replied, "I'm only one cookie away." He laughed and said, you've given up: soda, cookies, ice cream, corn syrup, there is no soda, candy, or cookies in this house and frankly, I'm missing some of that. I said we have candy, there are tootsie rolls, which only PB and The Boy like, so those didn't count in his mind. But I have been putting in some exercise, and I'm torn what to do tomorrow, do I go do totally toned for 50 min or run sprints on the treadmill for 30min.?

A Holiday Well Worth It

2010-04-26T18:58:00.001-06:00

Friday night J had to bowl in a tournament and I stopped down at the alley to check out the action. I forgot what it was like to sit amongst chain smokers and intoxicated peeps. I did have fun, but my head hurt from the smoke the next day. I can't imagine the damage I did to myself over the years, yikes. I took Saturday off on a holiday, and it was awesome. It was a crappy rainy day, so we slept in until 9, which for me is really late, and it felt so good. We lounged, colored, watched tv, scrapbooked, lost track of time, had a family dinner, and scrapbooked some more. It was well worth the 8 hrs of leave time I used. I am now looking forward to my 5 day weekend starting Thursday, though I am considering some overtime, I'm so broke, but I'm just considering OT at this point.

I had a Reese's blizzard from dairy queen yesterday. I cannot believe I ate 1000 calories in 20 min. while watching The Pacific. This is after I ate close to 1000 calories in M&Ms in my scrapbook room earlier that day. I made sure to do Jillian today, and hopped back on the good eating express.

Baseball has slowed down a bit with J's time suckage, which is nice.

I met with Peanut Butter's Speech Therapist last week. PB seems to be doing well, she needs to slow down her rate of speech, which I'm sure she gets from me, since I can be a speed talker. She said she thought PB would do fine in 4K. I think she will too, but worry that the teachers may not think that she is getting the stuff because they won't be able to understand her. We'll see, it is 5 months off.

PB is desperate to see Mickey, yes, as in the mouse. It has now become her obsession to fly on a plane and see Mickey, oh and swim in the pool at the hotel. I may have to start working a lot of overtime. Damn those Disney dvd previews of how great the Magic Kingdom is.

Touching Base Tuesday

2010-04-20T13:35:00.000-06:00

I finally figured out what was plaguing my internet. We had issues with freezing, drop boxes not working, and any sort of video taking forever. After deleting some extensions on Firefox, we are all good. Now I can get back to blogging again or at least more than once a week, maybe, well at least I can get my photos to upload now.

I had a semi bad couple days last week. Some baby mama drama coupled with J's being absent turned into quite the breaking of the flood waters. I think things will get better in the coming weeks. The Boy's mom and me well, I can't say the same. When I am in a rush, have lost my patience, am frustrated or the like, I yell. I do, I yell. I bottle it all up and it spews out. Last Thursday as I'm running around getting ready to leave to go to the gym and take Miss Peanut Butter to the Y for swim lessons, The Boy is on the phone with his mom, and as I'm getting ready to walk out the door, "how am I going to get to practice?" is placed upon my shoulders. I told him,"It is not MY problem." You have a bike and two legs, either ride the bike or walk." I didn't think this was a harsh option, I rode my bike to baseball practice when I was a kid. Apparently I was a little harsh in his mother's eyes. She told J yelled at him and said it wasn't my problem. Um dear, when I am walking out the door and someone has known about having practice that night for sometime and decides at that moment to try and get a ride from me, isn't MY problem. Failure to plan doesn't constitute an emergency on my part.The Boy needs to learn some type of responsibility on his part at some point in his life and I'm trying to instill some now before his college roommate wants to kill him.

My house is a disaster. I think Hazmat may need to come in. I am at the point where I really need to do something, but I just dread the whole thing. I also have the I want to repaint the whole house bug and know that is nearly impossible with PB running around like a crazy person.

I cannot believe I have gone without cookies or ice cream for 20 days now. Have I lost any weight, not so much, but I have been walking more and I did the last chance workout this morning and was surprised to make it to the last circuit without really dying. The last circuit sucks though, which brings me to PB's Dr appt yesterday. PB needed a check up to be enrolled in 4K. Sigh, I know, 4K. Anyway, the Dr said that PB was on the borderline of being fat. And gave me the spiel about not letting her eat junk food and soda. Yeah, doc, I'm a complete moron. I wonder if he would have been so concerned if I had been a mom 30 lbs lighter. The kid is lucky if I buy her fruit snacks and even those are considered candy at our house. I am a much healthier person since I gave birth to her, just because I still have issues doesn't mean I don't try to curb those issues with her before they start. I hardly think she is heavy anyway. I don't know why this bothered me so much.

The people who do the scheduling for the networks need to get together. Thankfully I have 2 dvrs in this house. Glee, Lost, Biggest Loser, Deadliest Catch, Justified, Survivor(on BBCamerica), all on Tuesday nights. I am so happy to have Glee back. I can't get enough of Jane Lynch, I love her. I was playing the Vouge video

and PB was trying to get all the moves down it was hilarious.

Well to end out today here is a video of Miss Peanut Butter. The daycare she goes to had a program the other night and this is them doing Laurie Berkner's "We Are the Dinosaurs."

Where Does A Weekend Go

2010-04-12T13:56:00.000-06:00

I am always amazed how fast my four day weekends go. I have no idea where it went. Friday, Peanut Butter and I saw How to Train a Dragon. It was very good. Peanut Butter is begging to see it again. We did some spring/summer cloths shopping at Old Navy, did lunch, and after a trip through Target, PB slept the whole way home.

Saturday, J had baseball registration in the morning and since he thought it was going to be so busy, he enlisted me to help while The Boy watched PB. After and hour J decided they didn't need me and I got some grocery shopping in PB free which was awesome. J and I went out to dinner by ourselves at a mew Mexican place we have in town, the food was great.

Sunday was the big garage clean up. J, The Boy and PB did that while I vacuumed my car. I also finally painted an old dresser we has sitting in the garage to get J off my back about it. It is now up in PB's room and she had to fill it with random toys. I made lasagna and we had an actual dinner at the table.

So far today. PB and I went to the library and have been chillin'. It is a little cool outside, so I'm not in any rush to be out there.

I also caught up on a couple of movies that have been sitting in my Tivo. I watched Angels and Demons and I remember hearing the reviews that it was bad, but I liked it. I got through a bit of Milk, but I will have to finish that one at some point. I saw Julie and Julia, that was a wonderful movie. I think I will have to read the book. I really didn't know if I'd like it, but I really did. I even checked out a Julia Child biography today. I had no idea what her life was like.

I have been doing fairly well in my April goal of cutting back the sugar. Today, not so much, but in general pretty good.

Photo Story Friday: Eggs and Easter

2010-04-08T19:15:00.000-06:00

This is an egg, in this form, it is still an egg and is fine to eat. Once it gets placed in dye and dries, it is no longer edible. After we dyed eggs I asked Peanut Butter if she wanted an egg for a snack the next day and she said yes. She meant yes, until I pulled a dyed egg out and started peeling it. She screamed, yelled no, and grabbed the rest of the carton from the fridge and protected it for dear life. Thankfully, she hasn't noticed them disappearing the past couple days.

J and I got in a huge blowout about the Easter Basket. I, to be honest, was going to skip the whole thing. I didn't know if she really cared, did she really need a bunch of cheap toys that will be forgotten in a day, and why go I have to be the one in charge of this stuff all the time. J thought she should have one and said we can't just celebrate the holidays I want to, but to his credit, dare I say.....

he was right. I put together a basket for her and didn't put the cheap toys I didn't want in it, but a couple of small things I knew she would like, such as, the Princess and the Frog necklace, a dvd, a puzzle, a bubble gun, since she has been begging to do bubbles, and a flashlight, which she finds strangely interesting. The bubble gun did break that day, but she was pretty darn excited about the whole thing.

Lucky Me

2010-04-07T18:31:00.001-06:00

I've been on a bit of a lucky streak. I won the basketball championship "test" that landed me some cash that I really could use. I was a huge Duke fan for quite a while, I still like them, but I don't find my self watching as much college basketball these days as I used to. But that was one heck of a game! Since I was feeling lucky I bought a scratch off this morning and won 20 there. I'm hoping my luck continues with the powerball or megabucks ticket I bought after work.

Unfortunately, I have had some bad luck too. I got a horrible cold Saturday night that is still lingering a bit. I just want to breathe fully again. Though, with all the pollen my sinuses have been pretty stuffed anyhow. If I had not called in sick on Sunday, the most I think I would have seen my husband this week is about 10 hours. 8 of those would have been on Sunday. It is the first week of April and baseball has consumed every waking hour. If he is not gone, he is on the phone or on the computer doing baseball related things. The most we have talked is a huge fight we had on Friday night over getting Peanut Butter an Easter Basket. I have been told things will be better next week when teams get split up, we shall see. I hate to bitch about it since he enjoys doing it and seems to do good things, but with his work hours it gets very empty here. I also run out of patience with Peanut Butter a lot faster when there is no one else for her to bounce off of, which isn't fair to her. Here's to hoping my good luck continues with those lotto tickets.

I have also been doing fairly well on cutting back on the sweets, but it is very hard. I had some peeps the other day. I have switched from ice cream to yogurt, and haven't baked any cookies yet, though I could really go for some. The Kashi bars are not cutting it.

PhotoStory Friday: April 1st and it is 80 degrees.

2010-04-02T09:48:00.000-06:00

Hosted by Cecily and Life With Kaishon

It has been an outstanding couple of days. Just beautiful and hot. I made a deal with Peanut Butter that after my eye appointment yesterday that we would stop and get some sandwiches and picnic at one of the parks. So we did.

Peanut Butter had a blast. She questioned my choice of park at first, since it isn't our usual one, but I think she had a good time, don't you?

Yes, we did eat lunch too. Unfortunately, this park didn't have picnic tables, but we made do.

No Foolin'

2010-04-01T08:50:00.002-06:00

I decided to make the first of April my start date to get some sort control back over eating and exercising. I started off the day with a little Jillian and the 30 day shred level one. Honestly, at the end of the 20 min I was asking my self why I shelved my girl for so long. I felt great. Yeah, it was only level one, but considering I haven't done any real exercise except walking here and there. I need to make a real effort to keep in check the stuff I am putting into my mouth. I have been on a sugar binge for about a month now and it has to stop. I know I write about this semi often and I'm sure, "jeeze girl, put the cookie down and just workout." has crossed a mind or two. I know it does mine as I am writing, I'm working on it.

Speaking of walking. I tend to try to walk around town whenever feasible. Peanut Butter jumps in the stroller and we go to the grocery store, the library, the bank, and various other places. Most of these places are at the most a mile and a half from my house and I figure I'm getting a little exercise in too, But I think people find this odd. A girl, about 5, the other day asked PB why she was in a stroller. While PB does a lot more walking herself, 2-3 miles can be a bit much. Which makes me think of a photo of Sarah Jessica Parker tooling her 5 year old in a stroller in NYC, I didn't find it odd, but the tabloid did because of his age. I wonder if because I don't live in a Metro city that more people think the same, since walking to get around isn't the main form of transportation. I don't know, but I'd like to give the finger to the a$$ who blared on his horn while screaming around the nice woman who stopped at a pedestrian crossing to let me cross the road.

Well, I should jump in the shower and get going. Since I have to walk to the eye doctor and then PB and I are going to get some sammies and picnic at one of the parks. I might even hit 80 today. Who knows maybe the zoo tomorrow.

Photo Story Friday: The Shoes

2010-03-26T18:51:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago I posted how I bought these lovely shoes for my Peanut Butter. I mentioned how they were Carrie Bradshaw shoes, ones that you don't know really where you will wear them, but you buy them because they are so pretty you can't pass them up. I know some of you were dying to know how Peanut Butter would wear them: with a pretty dress, maybe with one of her princess dresses, ah readers, she wore them where only she would.......

Initially it was for "soccer practice" as she calls it. We kick the soccer ball back and forth. I asked if she was sure she wanted to wear the pretty shoes for soccer and she adamantly said yes. They are oh so stylish with the windpants. She wore them to run the wagon up and down the driveway, she didn't blink an eye when a big scrape appeared, to my dismay, across the toes. No, she decided they needed to go in the sandbox with her. I had to end the fun just as she was going to pour wet, yucky sand all over them. I couldn't let them get overly sullied the first soccer practice they were worn to. Sigh, why do I have to wear a size 11-12 and have an unbelievable time finding pretty shoes in my price range.

Touching Base Tuesday

2010-03-23T19:06:00.000-06:00

I had a wonderful time this weekend. After an awful hour stuck going 5 mph through Chicago, I had dinner with my online friends on Friday at a Mexican place, the waiter we had was horrible, but it was still a good time. Saturday I helped set up some stuff and scrapped all day. I often get told I am very quiet in person. I have a hard time with small talk, but I am working on it. I didn't get a whole lot done, I was hoping to have some photos of the layouts I did, but my husband has my camera somewhere. I had a much better drive home, but I was really tired. I am not used to staying up past midnight. I didn't sleep very well either, I think I have become used to sleeping with Peanut Butter laying on half my body.

In honor of Biggest Loser being on tonight, I would like to say, "Hi, my name is Robyn and I am a sugar addict." I have had a few vices in my life: alcohol, cigarettes, diet coke, now that I have given all of them up, I have now turned to sugar. Cookies, peeps, licorice, ice cream, if desperate enough, I am sure I would have no problem eating plain brown sugar. This would be all well and good, sort of, if I would also get off my lazy ass. I have been putting in some miles walking, but Jillian would be so disappointed in the way I have been ignoring her. I am disappointed in how I've been ignoring her. I even overslept today and missed one of the classes I like at the Y. Sigh, I will get back on track one of these days.

I got a pair of contacts today and remember why I was wearing my glasses. We'll have to see how it goes. I also had my car's alignment done today. I hate bringing my car in to get fixed, since they usually find something else wrong with it, but thankfully there wasn't anything today.

Does anyone else have a chatterbox for a child. Peanut Butter does NOT stop talking. We are also in the wonderful "why?" and "what is _____ doing?" phase; it is driving me down the crazy stairs. Today I got my first taste of " I no love you Mama." Ah keep the good times rolling, though I can't complain she was all kissy this morning and kept shoving J away when he was trying to give me a good bye kiss.

Baseball has begun to suck every minute of my husbands time away and it is only March. It is going to be a long summer.

I am looking at doing some sort of garden this summer, hopefully one PB and I can work at. I think I am going to get this book, Gardening with Children and see what we can do. I already have a very neat idea for a strawberry planter thing from another book.

I think that catches me back up to an extent.

Friday Night Leftovers

2010-03-19T10:30:00.000-06:00

I decided to give Friday Night Leftovers from Sippy Cups are Not for StarBucks a whirl this week since I don't really have a PSF this week.

I am posting while I should be finishing up packing up my car and getting the heck out of dodge for the weekend. I am going to Scrap for a Cure.

It has been a beautiful week this week. Peanut Butter and I got a lot of walking, playing in the sandbox, and soccer practice in.

I also cleaned up the mess that was our yard. I think there was 40 pounds of doggie nastiness out there, while cleaning it up I kept noticing that a lot of the piles had colored waxy specs in them. I asked Peanut Butter if she had been feeding the dog crayons and she said no. A day or so later, PB had her box of crayons on the floor and I saw the dog trying to pick up a crayon to eat. Why in the world would the dog want to eat crayons and so many of them?

Peanut Butter is now taking swim lessons. I think she prefers to smile and wave at me than swim.

At the end of last summer I decided just to wear glasses since I was sick of dealing with shopko to get my contacts. I am now sick of wearing my glasses and will begrudgingly be going to shopko next week. I wish I could just find my prescription some where so I could order them.

I am hoping my house is not a total disaster when I get home on Sunday and that McD's is not the food of choice for the whole weekend.

Mommy and Me Monday

2010-03-15T19:09:00.000-06:00

Even though it is my Birthday this is the best Peanut Butter would give. I don't know why she feels the need to do funny face all the time, but it is getting old.

Hosted by Krystyn

Photo Story Friday: Giddy Up.

2010-03-12T19:29:00.000-06:00

We became owners of a huge rocking horse a couple years ago when the guy that outbid J at a charity auction for one the year before decided he felt bad for outbidding J the previous year and won this one. It was made by one of the residents at another big house down the street from the one I work at, in case you are wondering where you can get your hands on one. When I say huge, I mean huge. We had to take it out of Peanut Butter's room so she actually had room to play. I can ride this pony. It got placed out on our front porch for a while and PB was begging to ride it everytime I went to get the mail. One day I brought it back in the living room and even though J was unhappy about it, it is still there and Peanut Butter does ride it. Yesterday she had to get into full riding gear and make sure the horse had what he needed, gloves on his ears.

I thought The Boy's old moon boots were a nice touch. For some reason her name tag sticker from the Y had to go on the poor horse's eye. That isn't all the horse has been through though.

He's also a "painted" horse, at least it isn't the walls.

And So Are the Days

2010-03-09T19:20:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is day seven of a loooong week at work, and then begins my wonderful 5 day birthday weekend. J is celebrating by going up north with the fellas and I get to go to a basketball tournament and have Peanut Butter nickel and dime me at the concession stand all weekend. The Boy's birthday is on Friday and I haven't had any word from him on what he fancies, so he is getting some basketball shorts since he can never seem to find a pair at our house. His Mom is taking him to Black Eyed Peas, I am a little jealous. I am fancying a wii or just cold hard cash to buy some pretty paper and embellies next weekend when I go to the Scrap for a Cure. I have been holding out on buying anything since every year when I go there is so much there that catches my eye.

I excited to go next weekend since I desperately need some me time which is more than 5 hours. I got a great rate on a room and have decided to go to IL on Friday instead of waking up at the crack of dawn and driving the 4 hrs then. The only downer in that is I will probably get stuck in rush hour traffic in Chicago.

The discussion is brewing between J and I about sending Peanut Butter to 4K next year. I would like to send her if she can go and J would like to hold her back because of her late birthday. J apparently talked with her speech therapist and she said PB could go, but she is behind in some areas. She said we could hold her back if she struggles should we send her. She is going to meet with me next Tues when they have parent conferences at day care.

I don't know if I mentioned this previously, but PB is dying to see Alice in Wonderland. Though when she says it, it sounds like Alice in my underwear. I heard through my Mom that she may not be ready for it, so I'm torn, since I have a free ticket to see it.

Photo Story Friday: Little Things

2010-03-04T19:12:00.002-06:00

Hosted by Cecily and Kelli

It had been one of those trips to the store that make you wish you had never stepped foot in the place. After a huge tantrum in the cart at Old Navy, we were ready to check out. As I placed the items from the cart on the counter, I had to laugh to myself when I saw a pair of shoes that honestly would probably not be worn anywhere, but were very pretty. They were a Carrie Bradshaw pair of shoes for a toddler, except that since they were from Old Navy they were not the price of my mortgage payment. I said, "Let me guess you wanted these and threw them in the cart when Mama wasn't looking." I got a sheepish nod, eyes still full of tears. I set them aside and said to my self,

"Daddy will just love these." Since he still doesn't know how to handle everything girly yet. Luckily they had her size on the rack since the pair she threw in the cart were two sizes too big. Yep, I'm a sucker, but I'm sure they will get worn in all kinds of outlandish ways by my Princess. She also made sure to spit on a dress during her tantrum to claim that as hers too.